Chris, Nikki & Rhylee

Happenings

2011-09-19T10:13:00.007-06:00

It's been a while since I have written, there has been a lot going on lately. I had to do my glucose test at 28 weeks. It came back elevated, so they had me take the 3 hour test. YUCK! The first test wasn't as bad as people have made it out to be, I mean the drink isn't good but it wasn't as terrible as I was anticipating. The 3 hour test drink however... oh dear lord. That one is pretty gross its double the sweetness of the first, that one was harder to drink. So I have had to miss a lot of work lately to go do tests and such. Not to mention I am so bruised. After the first glucose test they put tape on me which I am allergic to. Well not only was my arm all bruised from them taking blood but then I blistered from the tape. Neither of those wounds had healed yet when I went for my second glucose test, in which they take blood 4 different times. Seriously I look like a heroine addict right now.

So the next morning on my way to work, I apparently stumbled right through where some of the facilities guys had just stirred up some wasps. I was oblivious until I felt a stinging in my left shoulder just as I was trying to badge in.. So I had put my hand there like WTF cause it was where my shirt covered. It felt like a sting but I didn't think it was cause it was where my shirt was covering. So as I am walking in I feel it two more times. I am like WTF, and I sit down for a sec to put my stuff down and I move my shirt and this wasp flys out. So of course I scream and jump up and it follows me. Kris who is in the cube behind me sees it on my pantleg and is trying to get me to hold still so she can kill it, meanwhile I can't hold still cause something keeps flying into my butt INSIDE my pants and I am freaking out. I was thinking what is there a nest in my pants or something... so as soon as she killed the one I was tearing down the hall stripping my pants off on my way to the bathroom. So there I am in the bathroom stall, pant and shoe less in nothing but shirt with my round self trying to coax a wasp outta my pants. My shoulder is hurting like the dickens, and I am hoping against hope that I am not allergic because I ran out without my phone and they would just find my round half naked body in the floor. After about 20 minutes of shaking and holding up my pants (I looked like a half naked bullfighter holding my pants up and shaking them) it finally flew out, and I killed it with my shoe. I then searched every inch of my pants for more, then put those back on and took my shirts off to check, You can never be too careful after being stung 3 times already and having one in your pants and shirt.

Well that was how the day started. then a couple hours later I get the call from the Dr's Office that they had my results and they weren't good. It was shaping up to be a bad day. They had made an appointment for me at the hospital that day. So I had to miss more work. I went to the hospital and they gave me a machine to test my blood sugar and showed me how to use it. I had been so terrified I was gonna need insulin or pills. But they said they were gonna try to control it with diet and see how that goes. So I went down to the dietician and learned how to meal plan and how I can eat. I have to test my sugar 4 times a day. I was feeling a little sorry for my self at first, had a bit of a pity party, then I moved on and realized it is what it is and that I can do this. It will be okay. And honestly since I have been dieting and testing I have only had high sugar twice and it was only by like 2. Need to be below 130 and I have been at 132 twice. I think it is kind of normal when you are trying to see what your body takes too carb wise. I have been below my 45 carbs both times but they say everyone reacts differently to differnt foods so its about finding out what your body tolerates. Both times I was high was at breakfast. I am having a hard time finding breakfast food. I love cereal, but it is seeming even lower carb ones are not responding well to me, or me to them I guess.

Then when I went home that day though, I discovered I had been bitten either by a spider or a mosquito all down my right side. 3 on my arm, one on my side, one on my hip and one on my ankle. Right side only. So wounds to date are, 4 holes in my arm that are bruised and look like I have been shooting up, 3 wasp stings on my left side, 6 bites on my right side, and 10 pricked fingers from testing my blood 4 times a day and a partridge in a pear tree. LOL At any rate, where the diet is not much different from the way I regularly eat, there are 3 differences that are taking some adjusting. The first is that, well the first and second trimester I didn't want sweets, couldn't really stomach them it was all good and fine, well probly the same time my blood sugar started rising was the time I started craving sweets and just wanting them. Well so now I have these horrible cravings and it sucks cause I can't have stuff. I can switch out carbs and have stuff but not the kind of stuff I am craving. Its not gonna kill me, we went shopping and I was able to find low carb and calorie snacks like dark chocolate cookies. They are not gourmet but they tide over the sweet tooth. The second is portion control I am not a huge eater or anything but having to measure food and count carbs is really differnet and sucks when you really like something. The third is.. my carb of choice is potatoes. I can give up bread, pasta I love but can sacrafice for now. I love potatoes though. So its really hard cause if I do I can't have much, and they are like my fav.

Anyways, well that has been my life the last little while. I still have so much to do and so many projects, I haven't been doing much though cause I was just so tired and dragging, but have found since I started on this diet plan, that I have more energy and am not so tired all the time. So hopefully that helps me get done all the things I need to do before Rhylee gets here, including setting up the nursery. Also I will post some things that have been going on in some future posts... I have had a couple baby showers to mention... unitl then

An Idaho Baby Shower

2011-08-06T23:57:00.004-06:00

My Aunt Margie and Sue threw a baby shower for me in Idaho. It was such a sweet and fun party. They threw it in the back room at Polo's Cafe, Which is this cute yummy little Mexican place in Burley. Since I crave Mexican food constantly now that I am pregnant it was perfect. They did the cutest owl theme and it was just a wonderful day. I got to see family I haven't seen in quite a while, Got to combine my mom and dad's sides, and got to see a few cherished friends. Over all it was a really wonderful day and such a thoughtful thing for Margie and Sue to do. Also, Rhylee and I were spoiled rotten. Mostly Rhylee. LOL.

We got a bathtub and bath supplies, lots of adorable clothes. I so want to pull her out and play dress up for a few hours, and we got lots of cute books. So many wonderful, thoughtful and useful things. Thanks so much to everyone who came. It meant so much to have you all there.

A shot of Autumn, Sparky and I all putting our bellies together.

One of my mom's good friends Roxana and her daughter Martha
My great Aunt Clara and Barbara

Alicia and Alexandra

Teri and Malynn

Me opening a black and red onsie... so my stlye. Thanks Sue!

Cute little owl book bag with all kinds of books in it. Can't wait to read to Rhylee Hope she loves books as much as I always have.

Opening more presents

A group shot

Gifts and Owl decoration

Marg and Sue setting up

The cutest little Owl cake ever!

Autumn's Baby Shower

2011-08-01T15:42:00.000-06:00

Mindy planned a baby shower for Autumn that we had at my house. I was frustrated and exhausted and didn't think it was gonna come together, but it did and it actually turned out pretty nice. I had workd really hard to get my stuff made for her gifts. We have had so much going on that I am surprised I was able to get it finished. I am excited but at the same time being pregnant is kind of frustrating. You have limited energy and cannot do nearly half as much as before. And we have so many things going on that we are trying to do and finish before school starts, and then I am basically useless Mon-Thurs becuase after a 10 hour mentally exhausting day I have nothing left when I get home. But, at any rate I did finally manage to get the stuff done for her party. I made her a diaper cake, and though it was my first attempt I think I did pretty darn good. I actually wanted to keep it. LOL.

Here is the diaper cake

Mindy laughing
The blanket I made for Autumn

The burp clothes I made for Autumn that match the blanket I made for her.

The diaper cake with the bath set I put together. I put nightime baby bath, lotion and powder together in tule and then added a binky that matched.

Mindy's Surprise Party

2011-07-30T21:43:00.000-06:00

Well the last three weeks have been soooo busy! Working on so many projects, and events. I will get into the projects later, first the events. Alex and I conspired for a couple months to surprise Mindy for her birthday. It turned out very awesome. Alex kept her occupied all day and Autumn came over and helped me set up and cook. Alex wanted a Luau theme, and decided to do pulled pork sandwhiches and Pina Coladas. I made chocolate and Coconut cupcakes, since coconut is Mindy's favorite. Here is the night in pictures.

The cupcake centerpiece

Day lillies from our yard
Up close with the Chocolate cupcake

Up close of the coconut

The "message in a bottle" table. I cut pieces of paper and left pens out and had every guest write a message to the birthday girl and then put it in the "bottle" (or vase) so she had a surprise to look at later.

SURPRISE!

Snots.. or Autumn enjoying the party

Leebie and Malynn... I can never get a picture of both of them smiling.... LOL

Jeff, Casey and Lexa

Mindy with Candy and Erin

Mindy and the "amazons" these ladies are so tall

Blowing out her candles

The happy couple

I know my eyes are closed.....

Mother and daughter

A typical Jeff face... LOL

Well all in all it was a great night. Erin and Candy brought some stuff to do glitter toes and Mindy, Echo, Autumn and I all got our toes done. Autumn was trying to take my old polish off becuase I couldn't reach, you should have seen the two full prego girls huffing and puffing trying to get the polish off. It was pretty funny. More events to come...stay tuned....

Louee and the "bump"

2011-07-20T10:35:00.003-06:00

Monday we had our targeted ultrasound. She went through and checked all the parts of the baby and if and how they were developing, like the chambers of the heart and organs and limbs. Everything looks great. Rhylee was so not a happy girl though, she was all over the place and getting mad. She is laying breach, so her head is up by my ribs and she puts her feet up by her head and her hands behind her knees, and she kicks my ribs. I was really sore after the ultrasound cause they push so hard getting into all the depth of the ultrasound, so I was hurting already and Rhylee was pissed the rest of the day and was kicking me like no other. She is so cute though, we got a couple good shots of her face. I can't wait to meet our little munchkin.

The lady doing the ultrasound asked Chris who do people tell you that you look like? and he just smiled and she said "Keifer Sutherland" He's like yep... she is like its uncanny. Then we we walked out she tell all the girls at the front desk and the nurses standing there and they are all checking him out and smiling and saying yea I see it, he was sooo red. It was funny. He gets that all the time.

So after the ultra sound we needed to take our 21 week pic. Well that was a story in itself. I will tell it, and show it with pictures:

okay so Louee loves jumping up and rubbing the belly. Chris is standing there and Louee jumps up and is snuggling the bump so sweetly for like 2 minutes, and I am asking Chris "did you get the pic? did you get it? Chris??? CHRIS?!!!!" yea he missed it he was texting, and tuning out the wife (as usual) He's like make him do it again. RIGHT. kids and cats don't do things twice, you have to get the picture the first time, by then Louee is in the floor with his ears laid back looking at both of us like "not on your life, I'm down and done, the moment has passed" So I was upset cause it would have been the cutest pic.
So then Chris is all flustered cause I am upset the cat won't come and he drops the camera.. so he bends down to pick it up just as it goes off.. Funny pic though....

So then Tuesday night Louee was feeling lovable again, it comes and goes with him. He is a Louee he does what Louee's do. Whatever that is. But it was sweet...

Another cute shot

This one was just funny, I'm surprised it didn't break Chris's back. Louee is a big boy, as you can see by the picture... I think his parents were dog and polar bear...

It's STILL a Girl!

2011-07-13T09:45:00.004-06:00

So at our doctors appointment yesterday, he said well its still a girl. I am excited! Also I have a targeted ultrasound on Monday where they go through 4D and look ateverything, organs, ventricles, fingers and toes, to make sure everything is developing like it should. That will be kind of exciting.

Well I think we may finally get a crib, geez! it had been a ongoing saga trying to get a crib. Every one I have ordered has been cancelled becuase it was out of stock, and everyone I have liked has been out of stock. I finally got one the other day and it said it shipped. Grr. Margie is buying one for us and we have been trying to get one for like 2 and a half months. We have the matress, I was begining to think that was all she was gonna have to sleep on. LOL. Finally choose the paint color for the nursery. Now once we get the basement finished we can save and get the paint and bead bored for the nursery.

I can't wait to finish the laundry room. I went onto pintrest and pinned a whole bunch of laundry rooms for inspiration and ideas. We have the paint samples. We are doing a more sterile room with a pop of color. Chris promised since we couldn't and didn't want to pay hundreds extra for the colored washer and dryer that we could do at least one wall with a pop of color. We are going to do a color of turquoise. Then all of our applicances ( freezer, washer & dryer and eventually another little fridge) will be white as well as the cabinets and floor and 3 walls. I am going to measure and see if the cabinets we are trying to sell, the top part if one will fit above the W & D then I will paint one cabinet white and that will save us a lot of money not having to buy one shelf. There is this cute Martha Stewart bench that I want for in there as well, it has three cubbies for storage and a pad for a seat. Then I want to put shelving and a rail to hang clothes on above it. I am so excited for all the storage this room is going to create. help unclutter the rest of the house a bit. Especially our kitchen. In building bigger easier to access shelves in our laundry closet we can use the old pantry for all our smaller appliances, get some things off the counter, out of the basement, plus have more food storage. I am such a freak. Storage and organization are what I live for. I hate clutter it reminds me of my grandmother the hoarder. ick.

And for a random first while being pregnant, here is a humiliating story. So the other night I took a bath. Our tub is a huge jetted tub, its pretty deep and spacious. Well I couldn't get out. I couldn't get a grib on anything and was sliding all over. It's hard with a belly in the way. Chris was trying to pull me but I kept sliding. First we were laughing, then I was laughing until I cried, then I was just crying... then I peed. Pregnant bladders. at least I wasn't dressed this time. I actually peed my pants last week. I sneezed three times on the third sneeze... had to change my clothes. One thing I won't miss after I have the baby. At any rate after all the laughing crying and peeing, finally we put a towel down in the tub for me to get on for traction... glad chris was home, I could have been stuck for a while. Geez

Where I love being pregnant and the thought of bringing a little person into this world. I feel so lazy and unmotivated. So much to do, and I don't have the energy or ability in some cases. I am independant mostly, and I love refinishing furniture. I have Chris and am grateful for him, but I like doing things myself and he is having to do my spray projects. The baby dresser and shelf, the cabinets for the laundry room. I hate to be snapping orders over everything he does, but I like things a certain way, and its hard to not just do it myself. grr... it will be worth it though I have to keep telling myself. Oh man I can't wait to decorate. Pretty sure that was my calling in life. Well that is all my random ranting for the day.

Busy Weekend

2011-07-11T09:11:00.003-06:00

Well we did our yardsale this last weekend. Whew that was exhausting. My mother-in-law came up and helped me out, and I don't think I could have done it without her. It was a pretty good sucess though. We still have a lot of stuff though so we probly will be having another one in about a month or so. Want to try and sell some more of it before we donate. Friday surprsingly was just busy, we made pretty good money that day. But Saturday, the day I though would be busy and have more people was sooo slow and we made some money but not even half as much as Friday. Next time I know to advertise in the Clipper which is Davis county's little paper.

I am so excited though, becuase we did make enough to finish the basement and probably do the shelves for the pantry. After our yardsale was wrapped up Saturday we went and looked at paint Samples for the Nursery and the Laundry room. We are still looking for the right tile though... can't find what we want. We will get there though. Tomorrow we have another Dr appt. This is when we get the 100% on whether were having a girl, finger crossed, I'm inlove with the thought of having a girl first. Well here are some pictures from the weekend.

Driveway pic of yardsale from Saturday morn

Our clothes hangers. LOL. Chris's mom is a cleaver one.
More hangers and sheleves

20 week baby bump pic. This is a horrible pic of me though... no makeup I had just got done cleaning too. oh well only look at the belly.

We have the sweetest neighbors. Kim and her son Kyler brought us these flowerrs from her yard. So pretty. Kyler is also gonna mow our lawn. He is 7 and saving up for a car when he gets old enough to drive. Seriously motivated that one is. Good for him though. Start young.

Folded laundry went grocery shopping, came home Louee is on clean laundry.. and then the nosey little shit that he is, you can see him snooping through the bag... rather lazily at that.

"Let me be myself"

2011-07-07T16:01:00.003-06:00

Okay so I know I have been overkill on the "Me being Me" thing. But until you've ever allowed yourself to have your voice taken away, and allowed the real you to be snuffed out to please people, You'll never be thankful for the voice you have and the people who love you for it. I bring this up again because I was shuffling through my ipod, something I havent done in a long time. I haven't reloaded most of my music on here since the crash. A song that made me think and fell like you know what I agree "Let me be myself", came on. Had to share the lyrics. To me they ae so powerful and exactly what I was feeling for so long.

"Let Me Be Myself"

by: 3 Doors Down

I guess i just got lost

Bein' someone else

I tried to kill the pain

Nothin ever helped

I left myself behind

Somewhere along the way

Hopin to come back around

To find myself someday

Lately i'm so tired of waiting for you

To say that it's ok, but tell mePlease, would you one time

Just let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

Would you let me be myself

I'll never find my heartBehind someone else

I'll never see the light of day

Living in this cell

It's time to make my way

Into the world i knew

Take back all of these times That i gave in to you

Lately i'm so tired of waiting for you

To say that it's ok, but tell mePlease, would you one time

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own lightAnd let me be myself

For a while, if you don't mind

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

That's all i've ever wanted from this world

Is to let me be me

Please would you one time

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

Please would you one time

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

For a while, if you don't mind

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

Would you one time... oooh

Let me be myselfLet me be me

The Good, The Bad, The Dark and the Scary...

2011-07-07T07:00:00.000-06:00

So while cleaning out my things for a yardsale I have come across so many what nots that remind me of people and times in my life. Often times they feel like a different life, it's like standing on the side watching it happen to someone else. I made so many mistakes with my heart and trust. It's interesting to see how far I have come, but at the same time wierd to think about how lost I once was. It's often uncomfortable coming across a memory where you have to think "what was I thinking?" I have had some horrible taste in friends and love interests. I guess this is bound to happen when you are young, lonely and just lost in general. I am so happy to be where I am now. And so happy to have met a man like Chris. Without all those other bad memories and mistakes though I probly wouldnt see how rare and special Chris is. So I guess I should be thankful for small miracles.

it's interesting that this all started with a terrible relationship and spiraled horribly out of control. My high school sweetheart and I were involved in somewhat of a car wreck of a relationship. It started out loving enough then became something so horrible. I lost who I was completly, what I became instead didn't even come close to resembling my stubborn bullheaded personality. I lost my pride, my confidence, my security, my trust, and my fatih in humanity. I lost so many things, that at my core made me who I was. I felt hallow. I feel like I was emotionally raped. But I can't completly blame him, I stayed and I thought I didn't deserve anything or anyone better. Maybe when he gave me a promise ring and I promised to be his, I should have had him promise to be faithful, and not intentionally break my heart. In my self delusion, I honestly thought that there could never possibly be anyone better than him. That I could never love anyone as much as him and he couldn't love anyone as much as me. I wasted 5 years of my life, and looking back, all I have to show was learning that that wasn't love. People who love each other don't do the things he and I did to hurt each other. I mean its a great lesson and all, but 5 tumultuous years together than all the recovery time is a lot of wasted time in my opinion. Rough lesson.

Moving to Utah was my chance to start over. Get away from the small town that drew us together no matter how hard we fought to stay apart. But new beginings arent't all they are cracked up to be. I met my dad's family, and learned some about my roots. Some of these family members were and are an awesome part of my life. Some, mainly my dad sucked what little bit of soul I had left right out of me. I was already a hallow shell of a human being wondering through life trying to find a reason, purpose or just someone who cared and wasn't using me for something. And I let a lot of people walk all over me, use and abuse me, and I couldn't care or get away. I am not proud of some of the things I did in that very dark period of my life, one of which being that I was slowly becoming an alcoholic. Because I hated myself and everyone that surrounded me. It's scary to look back and think how dark my life really was, and how helpless I felt to do anything about it.

I met a few people whose intentions were anything but pure and I let them suck me further into a hole of despair, I went all too willingly though, I was a masochist that way. I couldn't see the writing on the wall. I let them manipulate, play and use me for years, and was in denial that they were truley harmful to me and that thier intentions weren't purely selfish. I felt completely helpless at times. I hated my life, I hated myself, I often thought of ending my suffering, and sadly yet remarkibly the only thing that ever stopped me was my cats. My love for them, and knowing that they would likely be thrown into a shelter and probly put to sleep. They are my babies, and I couldn't do that to them. I know for any non animal lover this seems utterly ridiculous... but it got me through each difficult day. Loving an animal, any animal opens up so much compassion in a person. Ask Chris, he never thought he would love any animal let alone a cat, and yet he does. The other thing that got me through was praying that there was something better in life, that there had to be, this couldn't be it... That there were people who wouldn't use me and spend my money (what very little I had), who weren't fake to my face and tell horrible lies behind my back, and that there were people who were real true friends, and people who really cared and basically I prayed to find someone like Chris who would love me. All of me, for me, the good the bad and the dark and scary. Someone who could see so much good in me that I couldn't see myself and would make me want to be a better person. I still feel like he is too good for me, and that I am not worthy. But I try everyday to love him and be the person I think he deserves.

I know this post is deep dark and kind of random, but it is amazing the memories that can pop up from the simpliest of things. I am glad I moved to Utah, because in my very bumpy road to self disovery I met the man of my dreams, someone to love, who will truly love me back. I found security and peace, and I get a family. But at the same time, I feel like Utah almost ruined me. I know I needed to move away from Idaho. But in Idaho I knew who my friends were. I knew so many people, but thier were only a very few who I knew were truely my friends. I knew thier intentions. I feel like I moved away when I wasn't in a state of mind mentally to make sound choices in friends and relationships. But at the same time, another lesson learned. I can have regrets, but in the end I have to be grateful that no matter how painful the raod or the lesson, It made me the person I am today. Someone who is worthy of love, true love, and amazing firendships. Someone who no matter how hopeless It seemed even two years ago, has had most of thier dreams come true.

So honestly no matter how painful the memory, or how much I cringe when I come across an awkward or uncomfortable part of my past, I have to remember to be so thankful for it, cause it brought me to where I am today. And that is sooo happy. I trust my instincts again, I trust my heart and it has taken me far in the last year and a half. I know the people in my life now are real friends and love me for the real me, and there is nothing more anyone could ever ask for.

4 Day Weekend...

2011-07-05T14:18:00.007-06:00

First off I have to share a funny story. So Chris who is extremely hard on phones, no idea how he tears them up soo bad. Anyways his old phone was on its last licks of life and we can't afford a new one right now. Well in all my yardsale stuff I have a ton of old phones to sell well I grabbed my old motorolla pebble out its still in great shape, charged it up and we put his sim card in it. Well I used this phone like 4 or 5 years ago.. so Chris is at work with all these important people and I text him. He texts back whoa holy crap that was embarrassing. Apparently the text tone was still set as Sexy back by Justin Timberlake. I don't care who you are that was just way to funny. And of course I can see him freaking out trying to shut it up. Way too funny to not share.

Well back to work back to work. 4 day weekends always seem to fly by so fast. We had a jam packed weekened though. I was actually pretty lazy on Friday, I was so exhausted. Think I am still recouperating from when I was sick. Saturday was my amazing husband 30th birthday. I spent most of the day doing laundry and folding and marking clothes for our yardsale this next weekend. Then I baked Chris red, white and blue cupcakes. He also requested broccoli salad so I made that as well and we went over to his sisters for dinner.

It was a way fun evening at his sisters. I was kinda relieved she offered to host, I have been a little burnt out lately and it was nice to relax. Anne made the most amazing Cuban sandwhiches and they had this mouthwatering sauce. So need to get that recipe it was so good, Chris and I have been talking about all the things it would taste good on for the last few days. We also had watermelon, love watermelon. Then Chris made homemade chocolate chip ice cream, and his mom made homemade straberry and Vanilla. We got these amazing Cuisinart ice cream makers from Judy for Christmas and We make so much ice cream now. its so much cheaper than buying it and it's fresh and delicious. After dinner we all chatted and took a family picture. I got some fun pictures of Chris playing with Anne, his brothers and Hannah and Isaac. I used my coolpix camera though so the action shots are blurry. I didn't feel like hauling the big camera though. We also did fireworks With Anne, Darrin, Hannah, Isaac and Jonny. That was nice. That was the only night we did fireworks. Though from about the first through last night I felt like I was in a war zone. Fireworks were so loud this year.

Sunday we were really productive. We cleaned out the garage and got all our boxes we had stashed in thier marked for the yardsale. I got eaten alive by mosquitos. Plus we were getting dive bombed by June bugs... creepy little buggers... ick.

On Monday Chris had this amazing idea to built a little shelf for our dresser. We wanted to put the playstation in our bedroom so we could have Netflix in there, but you can't put anything on top of it becuase of the shape. We also wanted our TV a little higher up. We together we measured and sawed the pices for our little stand, put it together and I primed he painted. It turned out pretty good. You can see it here

Birthday boy

this picture was strictly for the goofy look on Darin's face. Too Funny!!

Red, White and blue cupcakes.

Baby bump 19 weeks. Though I look huge, I have only gained 2 lbs.

Boys playing

Just caught a glimpse of thier childhood. Matt is on the other end pitching.

Always coaching

Fun family weekend

2011-06-27T08:18:00.005-06:00

Well this last weekend was a blast! Friday night Lee and Malynn came to stay with us. We BBQ'ed, chicken for dinner and had corn on the cob and huge green salads. Sooo much food. We were all soooo full, but I still made a big pan of bean dip, but that wasn't enough so we went for a ride and rented some movies. We went to Smith's and bought all kinds of ridiculous junk food as well. Lee bought a huge bag of taffys. We bought drinks and ice cream bars, and the fixings for Malynn to make her famous french toast cassorole. We had quite the adventure at Smith's.

We came home and pumped up our air mattress and put it in the floor so we could comfortably watch movies, since my couch upstairs is super small and the basement is still a wreck so we can't use the couches yet. It was so fun like a big slumber party. We were all soooo full and it had been a long day and we started the movie late. We are all old cause I fell asleep and woke up at one point during the movie and we were all passed out. What I did see of the movie was great though. I had so much fun at our little slumber party. Then the next day Malynn and Lee made us breakfast since we had made them dinner, a nice yummy breakfast that I didn't have to cook... I'll take it. LOL

Saturday after our glorious breakfast we headed up to Franklin Idaho to visit Sue and Roy. They do a craft show up thier every year for Idaho days. Its such a beautiful drive up through Logan, its about an hour and a half but seems so short cause you get lost in the scenery. We had a fun little visit with Sue and Roy as always. Sue also made me an adorable quilt for the baby, it was white and lime green fleece, sooo cute. Love those guys wish we could see them more often.

Sunday was pretty eventful for me. Chris was working at home, and I was going through every room in our house and pulling stuff out for yardsale. Man I feel like I weeded through a lot of stuff. It feels great to clean out and get rid of stuff I have just hung onto. I went through my books, which for me is hard, I am then type that loves having books around. they are comforting for me. My mom had bookshelves full of books, and so did my grandpa. So all my favorite childhood places had tons of books. But I managed to think objectivly and get rid of books, I didn't want to read, didn't like, or would just never read again. Honestly I got rid of quite a few, which is great cause I just bought a new series at the used bookstore a couple weeks back and was wondering where I was gonna put em. Plenty of room now. I also went through my movies again, went through my jewlery, I had jewelry from like Jr high all my chokers and such, never gonna wear em agian need to get rid of stuff. I did about 6 boxes of stuff and marked them all. I still have quite a bit to go through though... I have a ton of clothes I need to wash fold and mark. Also we have a huge pile in the garage I need to go through, but it was stacked high and heavy and I couldn't do it by myself so I have to wait for chris on that one. But I finally decided on a date we are gonna have our yardsale on July 8th and 9th.

We put our old dryers (yes plural.. long story) and the old cabinets in our house on KSL last night. I am hoping to get them all sold, make a little money to finish our basement. We need to relay the carpet, frame and drywall the laundry room and tile it. But then if we can make some good money at our yardsale man alive we can have the basement finished, the pantry finished and get the paint and beadboard for the babies room. I don't want to get too ahead of myself but we havc a ton of yarsale stuff and good stuff too. Margie donated a lot of her stuff some of it still brand new and in packages. I have a few things like this as well. I think it will do pretty good. I am not sure where to advertise though. we really need to do well though to fund getting our projects finished. fingers crossed.

One last thing I did on Thursday that was super exciting. I sold my old sewing machine last Wednesday, and took that money and found an awesome dresser on KSL that I can repaint to match the nursery furniture and bought that and still had money left over. It's prefect cause that dresser has the perfect measurements for a changing pad. So since I can't condone spending so much on a changing table that you probly won't use for very long. I can still use the dresser for a changing table then use the dresser for a long time after that. I can't wait to prime it and get it ready for chris to paint. I can prime it but I can't spray paint it. Spray paint will hold up better than regular paint in a kids room, I think, but since I am prego I am limited on what I can do. But I am gonna take the wood knobs and have Chris spray them and make them look like metal hardware till we can afford nicer hardware and I think its a great start. Our crib has been on backorder for a couple months but its coming in stock on the 5th of July so hopefully we can finally get it. I am so excited for all the things that lie ahead. Also Chris's 30th birthday is this coming weekend, July 2nd, the same day as my Grapo's. If that's not fate I don't know what is. LOL. I feel bad that we are poor and can't really do anything for his birthday. I am gonna make him cupcakes and a dinner and invite his fam over. Hopefully that will be an okay birthday. I hate that money is o tight, but hopefully things will get better soon. Well better go for now.

Love this pic cause you can see my baby bump

awe so sweet.. my other parents

Chris making the paste for the French toast cassorole and getting mugged

Making the paste for the cassorole still

A good cheesy picture...Lee is chewing...and Myn looks decievingly innocent

our air matress slumber party..

Lee's huge bag of taffy

Myn and Lee

Its a Girl!!!

2011-06-22T10:48:00.004-06:00

Okay well we are not 100 %. But at my last appointment he said I am pretty sure you're having a girl but I won't tell you 100 % until your next visit. But Chris and I have thought it was a girl from the beginning so I am thinking it probly really is. But I guess we will find out 100% on July 12. Either way I am so super excited for this baby. I cannot wait to meet her or possibly him I guess.

So this last week I have been soo sick. It sucks being sick when your pregnant, cause you really can't take anything for it. I have had a sinus infection, and where I really am not big on taking medicine and I have a pretty high pain tolerance, I have been miserable. I would have killed for Nyquil and Mucinex. Nyquil is just soothing when your sick.. but no soothing for me. I can't even take Emergency.. Love that stuff. The only thing I have been able to take is Tylenol, and I have been doing a sinus rinse 3 times a day, which let me tell you has been soo gross. Without it though, I so wouldn't even be where I am at in the getting better process. Until yesterday I really haven't slept a whole lot or good for about a week. Yesterday after about 1.5 hours of sleep I called in to work. There was no way I was going to make it through a 10 hour day with the way I felt and no sleep. I was at that phase where you're uncomfortable, you have the heebie jeebies, you're in pain, your emotional from sleep deprivation and all you can do is cry which makes things worse. Then I laid down round 9 and slept till almost 2. Almost 5 hours, and it was amazing. I slept hard I didn't even move from where I fell asleeep. I woke up soaked though.. when pregnant if you sleep under covers and don't move around or push the covers off you wake up wet I have found. But man I felt like a million bucks. Almost 5 hours of sleep not interupted with whimpers, choking, coughing, or gaggingor feeling like I swallowed a hot poker. It was bliss. And I am starting to sound less like a man when I talk, plus I can actually talk.

Anyways enough of being sick, I am so excited! I finished my quilt I was talking about a while back. The one carla gave me the pieces to. It turned out pretty good for my very first quilt ever. Working with bias tape for the firt time was interesting too.. let me tell you. But I will put the pictures below. It's so warm and snuggly too becuase of the fleece back. I love it. Plus boy or girl it will still be a great blanket. I am doing the nursery in green and brown, but even though this blanket in none of those colors you will always need a ton of blankets.

Here is one shot of it.. in fours..

here it is spread out in half. I love the bright colors and how they all look so good together...

So much to do, So little time and money...

2011-06-07T09:41:00.005-06:00

Well I am done with school for the summer. I am excited to catch up on some reading and relaxing. There are so many summer projects Chris and I have planned or going. We need to finish the laundry room in the basement. Then once I don't have to hike over the grand canyon I can go to my craft/sewing room and work on the many projects I need to accomplish before summer is over. I call it the grand canyon cause there is a trench down the middle of our family room from the laundry room to the mechanical room where they laid pipe for the new drain. the concrete is still dug up and its a nightmare down there really. But the good news is its almost done. They just need to repour the concrete, then they can start framing and drywalling. Then once we put tile down we can move the washer and dryer down there. I am just excited to clean. It is an unbelievable mess. dust from sawing the concrete is everywhere. Then they will patch up the holes in the cieling in the guest room and we can finally move the guest room back downstairs. As of now the bed is in the baby's room.

Once we move the guest room back downstairs we can start on the baby's room. I am so excited. We created a couple registries for baby stuff already and that made me super excited. I know its early still but I wanted to see what all babies needed for must haves and all the things in between. I am hoping chris and I can put 100 dollars each month into buying stuff for the baby so we are stocked up and ready to go when it arrives. It may seem hard to do all of this already since we won't learn the sex of the baby until next week, assuming it cooperates. But I already know my colors. Green and brown. I am not a pink person if its a girl and really not a blue person if its a boy. so I figure that is a happy medium and they have so many sweet cute things in those colors.

After the laundry room is finished and the guest room moves back downstairs, We are using the laundy closet in our kitchen for a new pantry. So we will build new shelves in it and have way more room and way easier access. Then eventually we will put french doors on it to give a homier feel. Also we are using our now pantry for small appliances and all my pans and dishes that are now stored in the cabinets We are trying to sell that were in the soon to be laundry room and the garage. So many plans so little time and money. We would have had the alundry room done already had we not had to step back and rebudget again first. Things have been super tight lately. I just can't wait until my basement is no longer chaos. I miss my comfy couch. LOL. Plus I am dying to clean downstairs... I hate dust and the carpet is gross where they have tracked dirt and dust everywhere.... Plus my mantle is coverd in dust... The little OCD in me is going crazy.

I am excited to be able to work in my craft room though. technically I could now. But where the basement is all closed off and seems desolate due to construction it kinda gives me the heebie jeebies. I mean I am in a little corner room with about three doors between me and the upstairs, what f I cut a finger of or sew it to something. My husband is deaf when I am sitting right next to him, I would hate to think about an emergency that tucked away. I know sounds irrational. Just gives me the heebie jebbies as I said before.

At any rate for my birthday Carla had given me a crib size batting for a quilt and some funky quilt pieces to make a quilt. I have all the squares cut and pinned and my pattern drawn and measured. I am super excited to start sewing it, and finally use my new machine I got for my birthday. Plus I finally found the last color I wanted for my owl quilt. So I need to cut those squares and finish that quilt. I made matching pillow cases for that already, and I decided since the quilt will be our TV blanket I want to make a matching one for the baby. I have more than enough material for it. When it was on sale I got like 8 yards just for the quilt and I already had the two yards for my pillow cases. Seems overboard but it is adorable material. Now I just need the space to lay out queen sized quilt batting and figure out how many squares and the pattern I like so I can make sure I have enough cut. But I need my living room space that is under construction for that. Also there is furniture hanging out in my craft room becuase of the construction. Blah... I have so many patterns for things I can make for the babies room I am so excited to make them. I am going to make the bedding and curtains, and the bumpers and the dust ruffle for the crib. I have somany aspirations, we will see how many I get done, thinking about them all makes me want to take a nap. LOL

I am randomly going on and on, but the point is this is what we are busy with and working on. I am wanitng to get all my stuff gone through as we are going to have a big yard sale and have so much to put in it. And the money earned will be going towards our basement/pantry/ baby room fund. And hopefully we can get them all finished before the fall. Also today is Chris and I's 3 year anniversary. WOW, seems like yesterday but at the same time so long ago. Its funny cause our 6 year anniversary of being together came and went on May 8th, and about 5 days later we were like wait a minute, neither one of us remembered. funny how life gets so crazy and when you slow down for a minute you realize you missed something. LOL. Since we are doing an anniversary on a budget, I am making homemade pizza pockets for dinner and Chris is making homemade ice cream for desert. I still think its just being together that makes the day. Well I will write again when we find out the sex of the baby. I am so excited. I have a hunch its a girl, I have always thought I would have a girl first, but I could be wrong so we will see if I have been calling it the wrong name all this time. Until next week.

The Best is Yet to Come

2011-05-16T08:30:00.000-06:00

Well I have been so ecstatic to share this news on my blog! I have been impatiently waiting until we had shared with our close family. Chris and I are EXPECTING! and we are due ON Thanskgiving. We are so over the moon. We were cautious still at first, because we had a miscarrage a few years back. So we wanted to wait until we knew we were out of the woods so to speak, not that you ever really are. We have seen the heartbeat! Nothing can ever prepare you for how amazing that little blessing is.. a heartbeat..... We get to go and hear the heartbeat on the 17th, I cannot wait. That was my New Year's wish and resolution. I knew this would be our year.

Luckily for me, I have not been super sick. Not to say that I have felt great cause I certainly haven't. But you hear about all these women who can't keep anything down and are so sick and miserable. I feel lucky that I have still been able to work. I will tell you though I have felt so queasy most days though that I feel like I could be sick at any moment, I just never get sick. The thing that is killing me the most is I am hungry and tired ALL THE TIME. I have to take 15 min power naps on my breaks sometimes just to get through the day. Also I miss coffee. Coffee and me we were tight. Now even thinking about coffee really kind of makes me queasy. I think about how good it used to be, and then I think about how sick it makes me now. blah..

I feel like all my dreams are coming true. I have wanted a baby since I was like 20, though it was obviously never a good time. LOL. I know it sounds weird, but I always worried I would die before I had a baby. That scared me becuase then there would be no one to carry on part of me or my memory. I know this stems from my mom. She died at 32 years old. I was an only child, and her legacy. I have been terrified of 32 since then, and have gotten anxious as I have aged over the years. I will be 32 next year, and though it is irrational to think I will die at 32 as well, I have always wanted to have a child before then, so if the worst did happen, I had someone to carry on my legacy. 32 is my scary age. I will then, God willing, live longer than my mother did and that actually seems wierd to me.

Anyways, I am so excited! I cannot wait to find out if its a boy or girl. I have so much sewing to do. We told Chris's family mothers day weekend, and they were ecstatic. We told the Aunts this last weekend, and Margie's reaction almost ruined my day but she actually was happier than she seemed at first and she is all excited. Sue and Sparky were super happy as well. Sue even gave me some of her children's books. This meant so much to me as I lost all the childrens books I had saved from my childhood in the great storage unit debacle. She had some of the older little golden books. She also gave me some super cute newer series. Gonna have to start reading to the baby everynight. Well that's it for now. Been bursting to share.

Light in Darkness

2011-04-18T13:37:00.007-06:00

Recently I heard this quote, "Life they say can turn on a dime. In a world that constantly shifts beneath our feet, the only thing we know for certain is how we feel. The love we have, the fear we hide from, the pain we push away…give them a voice and the rewards are peace of mind and a peaceful heart." I instantly loved it. Its so true in so many ways. I have been thinking a lot lately, about life, friendships, love and happiness.

I am so happy right now. I am so happy with my life and the love, friendships and people in it. I have not been this happy in a long time. I have been trying to put my finger on what has happened that has just helped me be so happy. Granted no one is happy all the time, but for the most part I really can't complain. I came to the conclusion that it is because I am being me, and the people in my life now accept me for who I am . I love me, I love being me and I love not having to apologize for who I am. I have tore away all the bull shit, and decided to just be me with no apologies. I have decided that people can accept me for who I really am, or they are not worth having in my life. I spent so much time apologizing for saying what I meant, being honest, having an opinion, and just speaking what I really felt. I was expected to be something I was not, so I could tiptoe around feelings and the truth of situations. In so many cases I stayed silent because I didn't want to deal with the drama that would ensue if I spoke up, or spoke my mind, because I was made to feel my thoughts, opinions and truth were not okay. There for this made me quiet when I should have spoken my mind. I am afterall a Korb, and what are we if not brutally honest and far from quiet.

Once I stopped pretending to be something I wasn't, its like the sun has come out in my world. I know the people that are still in my life, truly love me 100% for me. Just me, and I don't have to apologize for my desicions to better myself financially, educationally or spiritually. This probably doesn't make sense I am sure. But there were people in my life and situations I have been put in that made me become someone I wasn't, someone I hated. Last January, everything in my life changed, including how I felt. I realized life was too short to not be honest with myself, and let me be me. If people don't like me that is thier problem not mine. I shouldn't change for other people, to make them feel better about themselves. I now just feel so free and happy.

Some people are just different and sometimes people just can't click because they are just too different. I always felt like a failure if I couldn't make something work. but lets face it friendships should not be that hard. They should be easy and comfortable, and yes sometimes they will require work, but it shouldn't feel like a never ending project. People who were once close grow apart, and people who once didn't get along grow close. It's part of growing up I have learned. As you get older you find the friends you had in high school or even just after sometimes just don't grow to want the same things in life that you do and it becomes hard to have a relationship in the present. You'll always have the past, but there is only so long that you can look back, before you have to look forward again. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either of you, or that either of you are wrong for what you want in the present, it just means you have found your path and maybe it splits from thiers. I felt so bad for a while cause I felt like some of my oldest friends had moved on in life and left me behind. I felt like there was something wrong cause I couldn't keep the friendship that we once had. When I finally realized sometimes friends aren't permanent. sometimes people come in your life when you really need them and/or they really need you, and then the go just as quickly. It's sad to think but at the same time, do you cherish the memories you have of them any less cause they aren't in your present or future? I don't think so. They were there at a point when they were meant to be.

For some of these people and friendships I still feel like though we don't talk all the time, its like no time has passed when we do talk again. There have been a few friendships in my life where the people just got me and I could be me. I could share with them the darkness of how cruel the world can be and they understood cause they had seen some sort of darkness to. I didn't have to apologize for not wanting to smile and be fake and pretend like the world and life is just puppy dogs and rainbows, becuase it isn't always. There have been times where its hard to get out of bed in there morning or muster a smile during the day. And these few friends have always made me feel loved and understood. They have understood the pain I didn't have the words to speak, and they accepted me darkness and all. I don't have to apologize cause I have been, in the words of Nine inch Nails, "beaten, bruised, forgotten, sore, to f#&ked up to care anymore."

I have had two friends that I have always held so much love for, Jasna and Carla. Carla and I still speak and see each other when life permits, its like no time has passed when we talk, we can always pick up where we left off. She is like the other half to my whole in so many ways. Then there is Jasna, her and I rarely speak anymore. not that we aren't friends cause we still are. But we just don't spend 24/7 together like we once did, years pass before we see each other. I think she was another one of those freindships that we both needed in a period of our lives. She had experienced loss and seen so much hate in the world, that she understood how hard it is to be positive sometimes, how hard it is to laugh instead of cry. She always understood me without judgment. For these friends I think back and remember being truly happy in thier presence. They always saw the real me, the one I had to hide behind fake smiles to please others who thought I should always be happy and positive. I am so thankful for thier roles in my life. I am so thankful that in some of my darkest hours they were there to light my way, with reassurance and love. There are not words to say how much those friendships have given me courage to speak how I feel and not be afraid to be me. Becuse no matter who is there to push you down, they were there to pull me back up. I feel so much pride knowing I had these friends.

I know I am kinda off on a random tangent here, but I have been so introspective lately.. I am so truly happy. For once I am not afraid my happiness will be ripped from me. I am just happy. Being this happy has made me think a lot about my road to get here. Paved with obstacles and people who tried to tear me down and break me. I had to write a six word memoir in English, and I thought about mine for such a long time. I came up with the perfect one for me. "Broken, but still not your victim." It sums up my life I swear. I am tired of being made a victim of someones cruelty. I am learning to just move on and forgive. That one phrase just touches so many injustices of my childhood on into adulthood. It felt empowering for me. I am glad I got the chance to write it. who would have thought 6 little words could say so much.

Chris and I are going on a new journey in life. I am so excited to put to rest the darkness of the past. I am excited for a new start, and chance at true and unconditional love. most of all I am so happy I can't stop smiling. I have so many blessings in my life, and I thank God everyday for them.

March Blues

2011-03-16T09:13:00.003-06:00

Every March like clock work, I feel pretty blue... oddly sometimes I don't even realize why at first. I just start to feel kinda somber, then a few days in it will hit me... MARCH. March is a horrible month for me. It's the month my mom died. Though it has been 18 years, I still get really sad. As I get older and time goes on, I think I get more sad because I was 12 when she died, she has been gone 18 years now. I have lived more of my life without her than I did with her. Also I can't see her clearly in my mind anymore, she has been blurry for years. Though once in a great while I can hear a song that takes me back to my life with her and for a fleeting moment and can see her clearly even smell her, then it's gone.

I start to wonder what she would look like now, what she would be doing... so many what if's. The what if's tend to haunt me. I miss her. I have however been able to put to rest some issues with my mom in therepy this last year. I have since the day she died always thought it was my fault and that I killed her. I already thought this and the fact that my grandmother held me down on her stairs the day I learned my mom was brain dead and slapped my face and told me I killed her only confirmed the guilt I felt. I never really spoke of the guilt I felt to anyone because I felt like they would validate it and I already had a hard time living with how I felt. Only recently I learned this could not have been my fault and was able to let go of a lifetime of guilt and anguish. My mother had an aneurysm, and she was only 32 years old. She had high blood pressure, and could not take her blood pressure medication and drink. So she chose to drink instead. Well needless to say she always had a headache because of her choice. So when she came home that day, 18 years ago today to be exact, she said it was the worst headache she'd had. She asked if I thought she should go to the doctor. What I said has always haunted me. I said no. She always had a headache. For years I kept wishing I could go back and say yes. But was 12, that is a lot of responsibility to put on a 12 year old.

She had come home early from work and taken some benedryl meds that usually helped with her sinus' and headaches. We talked briefly and she went to sleep. I was on Spring break and was dong laundry and what not, and a few hours later, she got up again and took some more meds, she was kinda cranky so I didn't talk to her much. A while after that I remember I was putting laundry away in my room, and kept hearing the strangest noises. My mom was a HEAVY sleeper. I mean she could sleep through a hurricane. Sometimes she talked in her sleep so at this point I wasn't really worried. I went in to her room and she was making funny noises like she was driving in NASCAR or something. She was clutching her sweatshirt while making the noises. At this age I really had no idea that she was having a seizure. I just thought she was having a strange dream. I tried to wake her up, of course she didn't wake. Being a heavy sleeper, I didn't want to over react. She had a short temper, and I was afraid if I called 911 or something she would wake up and beat my ass.

I called our neighbor Michelle to come over to see if she could wake her. She wasn't home, so I called my grandma's house. My aunt Margie was there, and said she would come right over. She got there almost immediatly, she went in and tried to wake her as well. She splashed water on her and kinda slapped her cheeks a little wtih no response... She told me to call 911. while waiting for the abulance she woke up. I walked in the room and she was sitting up looking at Margie, and she said" Bet, I just called an ambulance, are you okay?" I remember her just looking at Margie, so I said "mom?" and she turned and looked at me, and I just knew... she had no idea who I was. She just kept blankly staring as if she wasn't seeing anything, then she laid back down and went to sleep. That was the last time she woke up. Those two moments have always haunted me. First me telling her no don't go, then her looking at her own daughter and having no idea who I was, or probably even who she was was.

At the Emergency room they were trying to determine what was wrong. In the small town of Burley, medical care is not major, they sent big things to places like Salt Lake City, Utah or Boise, Idaho. They thought at first she may have overdosed cause I mentioned she had taken pills twice. They finally took her back to her own room, and we had spoken to a neurologist. They were going to life light her to SLC. They said she had, had an aneurysm and there wasn't much they could do at thier facilities in Burley. At this point they didn't know the extent. They thought maybe she could pull through, but would have to learn things like speaking and walking all over again. By the next morning they had determined she was brain dead, and all the hopes of her recovering were crushed. I remember thinking, where am I going to live? Not a thought you want to have at 12 years old. My father was not in the picture and my mom was all I had.

Luckily for me my mom's sister Margie, said she would adopt me if I wanted to live with her. And I did. She adopted me after a couple years of custody battles, restraining orders and court appointed couselors, to determine if my father should get custody. Luckily he was not fit, still isn't. 18 years later I can still remember those couple days like they were yesterday, yet I can't see her face clearly anymore on the good memories.

A few years ago, a lady that some of my coworkers worked with previously had an aneurysm. like my moms it had ruptured, but the technology they have now days is amazing. They were able to put this rod or spring type thing in to close the vien, and she had to relearn everything, talking, walking simple things, but a few years later is fine. I feel kinda bitter that this couldn't have happened with my mom. A ruptured aneurysm was a death sentence then, but not anymore. I am glad someone else won't have to experience what I did. But I just wish she had been so lucky too. Well that was a depressing blog, but I feel a little better venting.

Math = Death

2011-02-02T11:02:00.005-07:00

Well it's February already, man how time flys. Well I have been all sorts of busy already this year. I am taking 3 classes, Math 1010 is one of them. I should be embarrassed to say this but oh well. This is the 3rd time I have had to take this class. Honestly Math is the bain of my existance, here is a little history of math and me for you.

We learned long division I forget what grade in grade school. I never got it. Just couldn't get it to click. But, I guessed or cheated so effectivly I wasn't failing but not really getting a good grade. I think it was 5th or 6th grade before any of my teachers noticed. It took my mom a week to figure out a way that I actually got it. I was never diagnosed with Dyslexia as a child, but figured out as an adult that had it or at least some form of it, still not officially diagnosed, just kind of put 2 and 2 together since I have a couple friends and a father who do have it, I could relate in a lot of ways. I guess maybe its not severe, I just have the hardest time with numbers, I flip them in my head, even when I was little and I was learning to write, my mom kept telling me I was writing my 5's backwards, I never got it I was writing them like I seen them. This was bad when I worked at a hotel and would send people to the wrong rooms cause I flipped the numbers... thats a whole other story.

Lets fast forward to Jr high, in 9th grade as everyone else is on the right track, I ended up in a lower math class, a pre class if you will. There were a few of us in there. I became close with a few of my very favorite high school friends there, including but not limited to Alicia, Troy and Randy. To this day these 3 still know me better than most. Maybe if I had paid as much attention to math as I did socializing in this class I'd be better at math, but I digress. As it stood I started high school off way behind in math.

As all my friends are entering advanced math classes I am about two years behind them. My sohpmore year I was in the "stupid" math class, this is what my wonderful teacher Mrs. Gummerson (yank yank) called this class. She was in the Space program, and taught like it too. She with out a doubt had to be the worst example of a teacher I have seen to this day. She could not believe she had been reduced to teaching a bunch of sophmores a lower level math class, how could this happen to her. Well guess what she hated the class she hated us. She gave us bogus homework assignements that took 10 mins and let us work in groups. She left the class alone almost the whole period, and that was the year I kicked ass at california speed. I was undefeated, thank you Troy.

Junior year I took sophmore math with a bunch of sophmores... good hell felt like an idiot. Then my senior year who should I happen to get for Math? None other than learn how I teach you the hard way or don't learn at all, Mrs. Gummerson. Yea I spent a lot of time after class in her class trying to get help and she would get flustered that she would show me the same way everytime and I just didn't get it, she never tried coming at it in a different way. I almost didn't graduate because of her class. I am pretty sure the only reason she passed me with a D mind you, was so she didn't have to teach me again.

When I started at SLCC, I guessed on every question on the pre test because I wanted to start at the lowest class. I needed the basics, since none of my teachers really took the time to show me them. I found I got straight A's right up until the first time I took 1010. The problem is they cram so much math into 4 months that by the time you figure out how to do something your on to something new, then since you didn't spend much time whn you take tests you've already forgotten it. That year was the begining of the end for me math wise. LOL. I was still going through my sinus issues, I had my second sinus surgery that semester and my doc usually had his office hours the same time as my math class. Well I missed too much math and was so far behind, I just couldn't make heads or tails.

I tried again last January, well without going in to too much detail, last January was hell for me. My world fell apart, and I couldn't focus on anything, I almost failed all my classes. But in the end Math was so time consuming going to class and feeling behind because it was a huge class and I just didn't understand some of it. That I finally decided in order to not fail all my classes I would have to just fail Math, it was too late to withdraw at this point. I was so far behind in my other classes and I didn't have time to catch up because of Math being so time consuming.

This brings me to now. People say Math online is too hard and if you are not good at math to not take it. I am not good at math, but sitting in a class room for 3 hours makes me anxious and I don't learn much anyways. I have found online is actually better for me. The program has a tab that will show you examples of the problem step by step and if you still just can't figure out what you did wrong there is a tab that says help me solve, then they give you a new example to try and see if you get it. I have been doing great on my homework and quizzes. Though it is so time consuming, and I am remembereing a lot from my previous two jaunts at math. The problem for me is and always will be tests. I go blank.. we learn so much in such a short period of time. when we take tests I completely forget processes. then I flip things around the sad part is I am so unconfident I second guess myself and I am usually right the first time. And I make stupid mistakes with negatives that just kill me. Math is so hard for me. I think it is funny that I love chemistry. What is chemistry? It is basically just math but with elements. I got a A- in Chemistry and I can't pass Math 1010, go figure. At any rate, I am really going to pass this semester. Even if I pass with a C I will still be happy to have it behind me. Well, I am off to do my Math homework.

Fresh Start

2011-01-16T16:13:00.003-07:00

As I was sitting here avoiding my homework, and rather well, I was thinking... this is our year. It is I can feel it. Last year was so crappy. It started crappy and went down hill from there. This year had an interesting start, but I think.. I know... that this will be it. I decided to change my blog up a little. Fresh start needs a new look, newer pics and so on.

I know I am babbling here. I am just so excited for whats to come this year. I can't wait. We are almost finished with all the painting in our house, and we are putting in a laundry room, I AM STOKED! lol. Dramatic yes, but I am. in between the mountain of homework I will be doing all semster I will be finishing up furniture pieces for our house, or finding just that right piece. And I pray that my new years wish comes true. I will let you know later if it did.

yep, this is our year!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

2010-12-27T09:21:00.003-07:00

Well I made it through Christmas! It was if-y for a bit there, lol. Man alive the holidays are my favorite but this year I was like so behind on everything. I love to wrap that is my ultimate favorite. This year I was wrapping right up to deadlines for parties and gatherings. Only wrappng what I needed for what party. I spent like 12 hours one day making pillow cases. They turned out great, but wow was that an investment in time. But my first real sewing project was a success. I got a late start cause I was doing homework right up until about the 14th. then between work and holiday parties and baking... whew! I am looking forward to a quiet New Years.

I have found these last few years that I hate going out and being in traffic with hoards of drunk, loud people and then worrying about driving on the roads. Its nice to just chill at home with my hubby. This year I was thinking maybe doing a early movie then playing board games. I love board games, my family used to get totgether every new years and play board games and have munchies and watch the new year come in. Loved those.

Chritmas this year was awesome though. We did the Christmas Eve party for Chris's family at our house this year. It turned out pretty well I would have to say. I recieved an awesome book on refurbishing and refinishing from Anne and Darrin, it has some fabulous ideas. I made my Stroganoff, and a Olive Garden Esque salad with thier dressing. Then I found this new recipe for these double chocolate peppermint cookies, they turned out great, warmed then up and put them with ice cream for desert. It was pretty good. Chri's mom got us an ice cream maker for Chritmas, that was awesome. We have already used it. Chris is a ice cream junky. I always joke that its his heroine.

Man I was so spoiled for Christmas this year. Chris got my this awesome frozen drink maker. It will save on our Jo's bill. LOL. Margie got me lots of wonderful things, including pampered chef pasta bowls and supernatural seasons 1-4 (i'm hooked). Sue made us the most amazing quilt and aprons. Mine has polka dots all over it with fat ric rac, and Chris's has raiders. Sue also got me this cute mini cupcake maker and these awesome cook books I can't wait to try.

I did my Eclipse party a couple weeks back and it was really fun. Man I have just been so behind on everything. I was running so behind on getting things ready for the party. Kellie ended up having to make the dinner so I could finigh everything else up. She did a fabulous job though. I made these cake bites or cake balls something to that effect that I saw on Bakerlla's site last February and knew would be perfect for a twilight party, but I did not have one in the summer. At any rate I did red velvet ones, sticking with the black and red of eclipse, and I did oreo ones with white chololate then brushed red gel food coloring over them... they ended up looking like eye balls but still super yummy. Kellie and I made white chocolate popcorn, I am so addicted to that now, and then at the party we made Elcipse ornaments and had dinner and watched the movie. It was a small, intimate but fun group. It was a nice change, since the last one was a nightmare.

Well that is what has been going on in my crazy life lately. I am taking some hard classes this semseter and will probly not write much. I am almost done with my associates. I need to go talk to an academic advisor to figure out what else I need. I think i will be done this summer. Fingers crossed, then off to Weber. I just have to keep telling myself. it will be worth it! LOL.

Acceptance, love and all the things in between

2010-12-08T14:09:00.004-07:00

wow, been a while. I guess I got overwhelmed and got behind again. Well since last I wrote, I have survived this semester. I am in my last week, I have one final and two e-porfolio papers to write and I am done. I hope I do well on my history final. This teacher has been ridiculous and hard to please. I am happy to pass with a C and I don't get C's. Her workload and expectations were unreal for a general education class. Such is life I guess.

As another year draws to a close, and I can't help but think about how fast this year has flown. So many things happened this year, some simply amazing others not so pleasant. But all in all it has been an amazing year of self discovery, and though I would never want to relive certain things, its weird to say I am glad they happened and can honestly say that everything happens for a reason.

Chris and I had some real struggles this year, and the way it happend was heartbreaking and gut wrenching, but I am glad we are where we are, we would not be what we are today without it I believe. We have this communication and honesty now that I had longed for and would not change for anything in the world. I am grateful to him and for him. I can honestly say that I married my best friend and I fall more and more inlove with him each and every day. A previous relationship that always haunted me I was able to put to rest, and stop being angry and blaming myself, and realize that I was so happy that, that relationship failed. I am actually grateful that that relationship was nothing that I wanted, I had convinced myself I didn't deserve better, and it was okay to settle for almost. I smile now to think I am not stuck in a lifestyle and realtionship that I hate, and with a person who does not know how to love and makes me cry for fun. Chris strives to make me smile, and is usually pretty successful. He is also a very private person, as am I. I love that things are just between he and I. We have all these secrets and inside jokes that are just for us. and I adore that. I would not trade it for the world. He has shown me what love really is, and before him I am positive I never knew. He calls me out when I am being a brat and while I am pissed in the moment I am so glad that he does. I love the honesty in our relationship. I love that I am learning to not fly off the handle, and to take a step back and really think about things, internalize and even apologize. He has brought this out in me, and I am truley grateful and thankful.

This year I found some true friends, and lost some superficial ones. I will say that I am so grateful for the true ones and I haven't missed the others. I'm thankful for the repreive from all the drama. I am glad that I recognized that I was being used, manipulated, and treated like the help, and knew that I deserved better. A lot of untrue things were said about me this year and a lot of people loved the attention that cyber bullying gave them, while I sat in silence at their cruelty, as they continued to fight with themselves. I was the bigger person, and never said anything to anyone, I can count on one hand the people I even confided in, when the bullying became too much, and these people do not talk to them anyways. And well that is my right, and I deserve the right to have someone to vent too when I have a batch of mean girls who act like they are in high school putting a social hit on me. Because lets face it, all the lies that were spead, if I stood up for myself than I was what they said. So, I blocked them all and hoped for the best. Honestly this year has taught me that there are so many more important things going on, and that I am above the childish games and drama. I was in a a no win situation from the begining. I had to choose and I chose my marraige so I had to tell a lie. I would have been blamed either way. I will say though I told a lie, I will never need a lie and all those who jumped aboard with their untrue statments, Well I guess if that gets you through the night. I know the truth, and that is all that matters. I am this horrible bad guy and they take no accountability. I am not perfect, I have not always been a good friend, or person. I have tried my best, I have often failed, and as with every human I am not perfect, but I try and sometimes, people don't allow you to change. I have no apologies and no regrets. I would tell this lie again tomorrow, because I saw who people really were and what they thought. I am truley blessed for that one lie.

Another great thing I found this year was acceptance of who I was and who I have become. I have been in contact with an old firend, we were once joined at the hip. Life happens and things fall apart. Now, in talking to each other, I have felt so loved and accepted. She has made me feel valuable. How many people can say that a friendship can make them feel that way? I think this is a first for me. She knew the old broken messed up me and she knows me now and still better than anyone really, and she loves me. ME, not who she thinks I should be, but the person I actually am now and the one that I used to be. She appreciates the things that at my core make me who I am. She is proud of who I have become. And I cannot tell you what an incredible feeling it is. She has made me feel like I am a friend worth having, not someone "to apologize for." Because of her I know that I am a good person, though at times misguided, and who hasn't been. I am not perfect or extrodinary, but I am valuable. Thank you friend! Words cannot do you justice. I am so blessed that we are again friends, I believe you to be a soulmate, we have always been connected though we have been apart. I love you!

Also I am thankful to again have a sense of sisterhood and family. I have grown so close this year to Mindy. I feel so much comfort in her. I remember when we were little we were partners in crime, and spent most days in the corner. We were closer than sisters, though we would still watch Autumn eat dirt, you were my best freind through many years growing up. Though I lived in a different state I held this piece of my heart that was for you. Then my mom died and me and my feelings and my life was so messed up. When I moved back we just never had that click again, until this year. I know you don't know what has been going on this year, but you have over extended yourself to me anyways. You have been a comfort to me and made me laugh all these times I just wanted to cry. There are times I felt like I was dying inside and you swept in and made things seem imposibly better just because you were there. You knew there was something wrong but you never pushed me you were just there. I cannot tell you how much this and you have meant to me this last year. Thanks Min, I love you!

Wow I kind of wrote a novel, and went off on a tangent or two. It has been a while since I have written and I think I just needed a good write. I have much to look forward to in the coming days. Christmas is my favortie. Last weekend Chris and I decorated a gingerbread house. That was our date night. It was awesome and I loved it, better yet it was his idea too. This weekend I am doing an Eclipse party and I am super excited. Thank you Kellie for bringing it out of me, I am starting to feel like me again. It's been a while. Then we are having Christmas Eve at our house this year which I am super excited for. I have so much to get done before then though. Well that is my novel for now. I need to write more often apparently.

Busy as a Bee

2010-10-12T10:04:00.004-06:00

Well it's October already! I can hardly beleive how fast this year has flown. I finally got caught up in all my classes for the first time this semester and was able to relax homework free this last weekend. Though I guess I shouldn't say I actually relaxed. I have so many projects to get done, especially painting ones that I have to do before it gets cold. So I spent Friday with family. My aunt Malynn and uncle Lee came into town this last weekend and they came over and visited Friday for a few hours. It was nice, we all sat around and visited for a bit. Mindy, Autumn, Tiffany, John, and family friend Sarah all hung out. The kids all played downstairs on the Wii and the lovesac. Then after everyone left, Snots (Autumn) and Mindy stayed and we all just BS'ed and laughed until we cried telling stories. I have missed doing this. It has been so long since I have laughed until I cried. Laughter really is the best medicine. Need to get those girls together more often. :)

As for projects, I have so many I need to finish. But this last weekend I took a box of old picture frames we had that were old beat up and nasty colored. I spray painted them, glazed them and made them look good again, and match the colors in my living room theme. Then I spent about 3 hours Sat night working in photoshop, and 12 hours on Sunday. My first time around the block in actual photoshop. Thanks to Mindy for being tech support. I have two books on it but couldn't quite find some of what I needed. I finally got all the pics for the frames done and I have to say they turned out quite amazing. You would have thought I would have spent some of that time getting my blog done so I could start posting my projects, but I didn't.

I am having a girls craft night at my house on Friday. I am super excited. It has been a couple years since these girls and I have gotten together. We are gonna do Chinese and have a sleepover. This worked out great for me cause Chris is doing a sleep lab to see if he has sleep apnea that night and I didn't really want to be in the house alone, with no car. So I am glad the girls wanted to stay. Well that is it for now.

Just another bump in the road

2010-09-28T15:53:00.003-06:00

WOW! Okay, so I missed last week. I have been so busy, and things have been so hard. Well we got some unpleasant news this week. Everything is going to change. Everyone always tells you when things change and something bad happens, that there is a reason for it and maybe it's a blessing. Of couse when you are in the midst of it, it's hard to think you will look back and see it as a blessing or a lesson to learn from. Most times I have found recently, that they are, but still you want to be realistic. So we will pray, and make the arrangments necessary, hope that we are smart about it, and that we will land on our feet. Again, only time will tell. It's frustrating and terifying not knowing what the future holds, but I have to have faith that we will get through this, if we stick together.

I'm feeling so much pressure as of late. I have so much homework, and it's hard cause I have so much that I am rushing through sometimes. I feel like I am not doing quality work, due to quantity. We are down a car, Chris sold his car. It was a good thing at the time. We have been paying down debt and bills and trying to only have basics. My car is almost paid off, only a couple more months. We were even looking at new cars and were pretty much ready to sign on the dotted line. We had figured our budget and worked out the details, then bad news struck. I am grateful we learned when we did though, instead of after we had a car payment to account for so I guess that in itself is a blessing. Again, I am super vague. So much has happened this year. I feel I am being tested so much. I feel as though at times I am barley hanging on, but I have to try and look at the big picture and think this too shall pass. We have amazing famliy and friends who, at our darkest hours this past year have been there to lend there support with a hug and a smile, or at times tears so you're not crying alone. I guess all in all I am so lucky to have the people in my life I do. I have learned a lot about true friendships this year, and I guess maybe I have taken for granted the people in my life, because I am learning the ones that are here now, truly are the biggest blessing of all.

Short rant, so I am disappointed in someone, well and myself for being stupid and beleiving they were actually a friend. I read a quote somone wrote just the other day and realized the truth in it. It said "someone who wants to be a part of your life, will truly make an effort to be in it." So true. Recently, I started talking to an "old friend". This person seems to always disappear from my life and reappear when they are in crisis. Yet when I am there I bare the burden alone. I used to be ok with this kind of friendship I guess, cause it has happened quite a few times. Well I reached out to try and be a good friend, checking in often with them, to remind them they are not alone, and letting them go on and on. because thats what friends do. They are there to listen when you are being obsessive and need to just talk things out. I know this cause I am the queen of obsessive and talking things out. I tried to share the burden, laughing and crying with them. They tell me that I am needed and a great friend, yet I find my phone not ringing and me doing all the work. Now that I am again in over my head in crisis mode, well guess who is all alone in it. I am tired of people who need you when they are down and out and when you hit bottom the scatter like cockroaches when someone turns on a light. I am tired of lip service. I will never need a lie. I know as I have aged, and not gracefully, that I haven't been the best friend. I know that I too have been self serving. But for the most part I have always been loyal. I have always tried to go the extra mile for those that are dear to me, to the point of doing all of the work and gettin taken advantage of. And along the way I have had to make hard desicions to let go of those who just kept taking and taking and stopped with the giving. One of which being my own father. Life is too short for me to do one sided. It hurts to much to think you give so much to someone and they can't give even an ounce back. especially when, with school, work, and my own life that is just in ruins and crisis most of the time, I try to be whole heartedly there.

Here is the queston I pose. Do I place to high of expectations? Seriously though? It seems there is a problem somewhere. I either am a magnet for use and abuse, or it would have to be me. The only thing I can think is that my expectatons of a friend is too high. Again, I know that I am blind to my own faults, to which I am sure I have many. But I think that though there are petty moments in friendships, for the most part true friendships, know that though neither is perfect, you fit perfectly together. I guess I try to be available for my friends no matter what. Call me crying I drop everything to rush to you or talk you down. I would do most anything in my power for those I hold dear, and though I am not perfect, and we all have our moments, in my heart I am truly loyal. Am I wrong to think there are people out there who are like me? who would do anything for thier friends? I am starting to feel hopeless.

Yea so that ended up being a longer rant. Sorry. But I guess on a brighter note, there will always be the very few friends you find in life who just get you. You can go forever without talking and its like the world has stopped and no time has passed when you speak again.. A great quote for this is "A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails -Anonymous" I think that pretty much says it all. At any rate I guess that is it for this week. I am hoping a praying we get through the bumps in the road right now. I guess that is all one can do. I can't control the outcome, and I hav eto try and remember that stressing gets me no where, so I need to take a really big breath and let the chips fall where they may. That whole letting go thing... still haven't quite mastered it yet. ;)

Mush...

2010-09-15T10:20:00.004-06:00

Wow, been a crazy busy weekend and week. I have never done so much history in my life. I literally did Psychology homework all day friday, then history homework Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.. and barley finished after 10 last night. Man this semester so far is brutal. I have actually had to make myself a calendar this semester with a plan to keep myself on track. I plan to read for an hour each night, from one of the three classes depending on the due date and homework.

On a brighter note, I am taking a day off from homework this Saturday. We are going up to the Unitas with Minday, Alex, Echo, and I think Autumn, John and Landon. We are going to do family pictures. I think that will be a total blast, do some tin foil dinners hang out and take pics. I am having Mindy withdrawls, and need a fix, its been a couple weeks. GASP! Fall leaves should be changing in the Uintas and it will be a beautiful drive. I am excited. Need a break for a day or two, brain is turning to mush I fee like. I am starting to dream about my homework...never a good sign. LOL.

I got my new coolpix camera on Monday, my late birthday present. I LOVE it. I ordered the plum colored one. I am so excited to have a convienent camera. I love my Nikon Digital SLR don't get me wrong, but I feel as though I am carrying a photo booth around sometimes. This one fits so neatly and cute into my purse. It has video on it too, and I have already got a video of Louee chittering to himself. He is definatly unique. I am also excited that I got an amazing deal on photoshop and got a sale price of more than half off, because I already have elements. Because, well, lets face it there is no way I could ever buy that for full price, or even half price. It 's pricey. That should be arriving any day now, and I cannot wait to play with it. Just aren't enough hours in my day sometimes. LOL. Mindy should be a big help, she has elements too, and has taught herself some pretty cool tricks that she is showing me. Definatly a learning curve on photoshop.

The house is coming along. Chris got the basement painted, well the first coat anyways, and it looks absolutly amazing, he is doing a wonderful job. The color is perfect, it made our fireplace pop, and warmed up the room a lot. I am so excited to be done with painting and get everything all the way unpacked. We have nothing on our walls or sheleves, and have not decorated anywhere. The only rooms that are semi finished are my craft room, Chris's office, and the guest bathroom. We were going to have a yardsale once we moved, but decided to hold off until we finished everything inside, thinking I didn't want to get rid of something then find out I could have used it. This way its easier to weed out after.

Lately, I have been in contact with an old friend. It has been nice after many years to visit and chat. I have missed her a lot, and it is wierd how it has been almost 6 years and we picked up like we never missed a beat. I guess that's the thing with true friendships, you are still a part of each other even if you don't know it. So to this friend. "Hey Wedding singer... ooowwoooooooo!" :D

Fall is coming, and I couldn't be more excited. I love fall!! I love decorating in fall for Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas... Its all up hill from here. LOL. I am a nerd. I love baking around the fall and holidays. I love making yummy comfort foods that taste so good in the fall when it starts to get cooler, and now I get to make them in my very own kitchen. Can't wait! Well thought I would take a moment out of my hectic schedule and write.

Happy Monday...er Tuesday... ah whatever

2010-09-07T11:37:00.003-06:00

Well I had a great weekend this past weekend. Chris had four days off as well, so we went shopping on Friday, which was nice. We got some more things for the house, and just kinda shopped around. One thing we did get that is heavenly, yet makes gettng out of bed utterly impossible was a mattress pad, and new Jersey sheets. Sleeping has been a pleasure. I hung with one of the besties on Saturday, saw Going the Distance with Drew Barrymore. Super funny! I laughed until I was crying. Chris started painting the basement. Then we took it easy on Sunday and I did a lot of homework. Yesterday, we went to Park City. We originally were going to go to San Diego for Labor day and a chance to get away and spend some time alone, though finance wise it wasn't feasible. Then we had decided to stay in Park City for the weekend like our Honeymoon, yea again.. being a holiday weekend it was too expensive. So we settled for going up for a couple hours and hitting the outlets, and this Christmas shop that we get a family ornament from every year. It was nice, but soo super crowded up there.

Things have been better lately. Writting has been helping. Funny enough I always kept a journal, but the last few years I haven't been writing. What a difference it makes. When it comes to papers however, ugh! I have the worst writer's block. I use to write and would write poems, it would just flow and it was thereputic, but I have just been blocked. I used to be a great writer. I could BS anyting and write well. I think if you don't use it you lose it. Now I am in English this semester and the assignments should be easy, I have plenty of material to work with. Just can't seem to form the words. It's frustrating.

This is going to be a tough semester I think. I am already slammed in homework and barley making deadlines. Just so much to do, and so little time to do it. I am actually enjoying my English and Psychology classes. would enjoy it more if I could form words. I need to get ahead, so that way when I am in Vegas I do not have to worry about anything.

I cannot wait until Vegas. The besties and I planned a girls trip. It is so welcomed and needed after the year I have had. We are going to go to a few shows, and be tourist-y. I am especially excited to go see the Beatles Love show. I was bummed that Paul McCartney was in SLC and I could not afford to go. Tickets were ridiculously priced, though I bet worth every penny.

I am just kind of babbling here. Mindy and I made a pact that we would write on our blogs at least once a week to avoid going months, then having to catch up. I started in the middle and didn't catch up everything. I have just been in a slump. With everything that has gone on, I just decided I was going to use my blog for real stuff, not the fluffy we did this, this and this and it was fun stuff. Its been a nice outlet. The good thing about it is that, I so rarley write, that anyone I had given my addy to stopped reading. So it's been kinda nice to use it as my outlet.

Well, I am still trying to get http://acharmeddoityourself-er.blogspot.com/ up and going. I feel like there just are not enough hours in the day sometimes. I have so many projects that I have completed and so many I am working on. I just need to finish the coding on the other blog, trying to personalize it a bit.

Well at any rate, here is my blog for the week. I may blog more than once a week, but for now my goal is at least once... for having absolutly nothing to say I sure went on and on.

Time keeps flowing like a river...

2010-08-30T09:29:00.007-06:00

I have been thinking a lot recently about time. January... ah January.... my world fell apart. I didn't think I'd make it from one minute to the next let alone until almost Septmeber. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep.. couldn't focus on anything, and almost failed all my classes. A lot of therepy and crying... and here I am in August... strange how time can fly but yet seems to stand still.

The thing about pain though... well they say time heals all wounds... not so sure. I don't think about it all day every day any more. I can go short periods of time without thinking of that day. But sometimes when I least expect it, I'll have a flash of that day, and I feel as though I am there again, and I can't breathe, I feel like all this progress starts over. Will I ever trust completely again? will I always be this paranoid mess? Will I ever truly recover? I guess in my case maybe I need more time and therepy. I know it will be a long time before I can forgive, and I don't know that I will ever forget. But, with pain do we ever forget? Maybe when it lessens in time and the memory fades a bit. Guess only time will tell. Ironic isn't it.

Well all I have to say is thank God for my two besties. I would not be here today without thier love, support and patience.

Louee turns 1!

2010-08-14T10:01:00.022-06:00

So our kitten Louee is now one, he has grown so fast. We had a birthday party for him. I know right, before you judge, I did it for Chris and I's niece and nephew. Hannah LOVES my cats. She knows everything there is to know about them, I mean everything. She could tell you where I found each of them, why Pugslee is declawed and Dru and Louee aren't. She is a sponge, she absorbs. So, Darren and Anne were going out for their anniversary the week of Louee's birthday and we were watching them. I thought what would be more fun for kids that love cats, than a birthday party? Except that I don't really know what you should do for a cat birthday party, its not like they can play games with you... pin the tail on the dog??? hmm...oh wait he is a dog... or at least he thinks he is.

So I decided to make Louee his own party hat and then make individualized ones for Hannah and Isaac. Yea trying to take pictures of Louee with a party hat on was hilarious, I walked away laughing and bleeding. He's not a fan of hats. Then I made mini cupcakes that were the perfect Hannah and Issac size. Then I saw these tissue paper pom poms on Martha Stewart, and decided to go for it, since I had the urge to make them, but had no idea what the occasion would be.. now I had one, a silly one but hey.

So Chris made homemade pizza dough and let the kids make their very own homemade pizza. We then lit some candles on the cupcakes, and the kids blew them out. We sang to Louee.. that was hilarious, he was so freaked out. Chris was holding him and he looked like he wanted to climb him and hide on the ceiling. Then we had mini cupcakes... the kids fed the cats kitty treats, since they can't have cake. All in all it was very silly but a lot of fun. Chris and I bought them coloring books, crayons, and doodle books for them to have at our house cause they love to color and draw. So Hannah and I colored. Then we watched about 3 kids movies. We could not get them to go to sleep. Chris however had no problems.

But my most favorite moment of the night was when Hannah was playing air guitar to Kiss’s “I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night”. The girl can Rock!

He does love me

my pom-poms

homemade party hats

Singing to Louee

In their Home-made party hats
Chris showing them how to roll their dough for their pizzas
Hannah & Issac sized cupcakes
Them coloring

Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T03:16:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving was good as usual. We drove to Idaho on Wednesday night, when we got there we went out for dinner and then stayed up late baking pies and visiting.

Thankgiving day was good, we had sooo much food and we kept forgetting stuff cause there was so much food, then we would be like oh wait we forgot this we forgot that.. but it was a good day. we enjoyed getting to spend time with Margie since we hadn't seen her since like March.

The apple pie Chris requested

group picture
Can't forget Gerald. He does love me...

Group photo take 2

Marg & I

New Edition... Louee!

2009-11-27T02:41:00.005-07:00

So back when Chris and I first started dating, He was new to the cat thing. He was never really raised with any animals except rabbits, and they lived in California so they were outside. He was kinda wierd about Dru and Pugslee for a while. I told him The boys and I were a package deal, as I had had Pugslee my entire adult life and got Dru only 2 years after Pugslee. He said that was fine, but, if I got any more animals that he would leave me. Well after 5 years, there is so much love in his heart for animals and he never realized the bond you could form, and that they could be part of your family. So for a couple months HE was begging me for a kitten. I kept telling him that kittens are so much work, and he kept begging.

Well Margie's cat Shirlee just had a litter of kittens and Sue had taken pictures and sent them, she was having a hard time finding homes for them. So I told him if he truely wanted a kitten to pick one from her litter, and so he chose a square short haired white kitten with blue eyes.

So we told Margie we wanted this one and she found home for all but the white one and a little gray calico. We so weren't agreeing on names, and then during a conversation with Kellie the name just hit me. Louee. It has special meaning as my mom's middle name was Lou. So we decided that at Thanksgiving we would pick him up. But Margie couldn't find a home for one she was calling birtha.. so I placed an ad on KSL and had a home for her in less than 2 hours.

I would pick her up with Louee and bring her to her to her new home. She was to be a little girls Christmas present. Well we met Louee and Birtha, and they instantly loved me. love at first sight. Chris and I fell inlove with Birtha too we so wanted to keep her. But her new owners were eager to met her so we had to give her up.

One thing for sure, Chris was not prepared for how much work Louee would be. We are primed for actual kids now to say the least. he said he now understands why people say "they're cuter when they're asleep!" LOL

Little Louee ( though he's not so little.. Biggest kitten I've ever seen)

Hard to believe he is only like 3 months in this pic he looks like a 1 year old cat

Louee and his new mommy

Birtha

She always turned her head sideways when she was trying to understand things

miss her

huge paws!

Louee's "Birth mom" Shirlee

Decorating for Christmas

2009-11-22T02:30:00.001-07:00

Well we had to get a new tree this year. Our couch took up the spot where out 7 foot tree normally goes... and the little spot we had for a tree has a lower ceiling and not even big enough for our big tree.. and decorating is my favorite thing to do, so we got a little 4.5 foot tree so we could still enjoy a tree.... Here are some of the highlights..

Finished tree

New hurricane with bells and bear lights
My decorated modern trio

Tree

Finishing touches

2009 Ornament

Prelit is so my best friend...

New Moon Event

2009-11-20T02:09:00.000-07:00

The new moon event went really well. We had 26 people and honestly probly could have sold more tickets. I made a huge pot of chilie and Sarah made some potatoe soup and we had a really good dinner. We then did drawings for new moon stuff and watched twilight before heading to the theatre to watch New Moon. Honestly I really liked the movie. I didn't like twilight.. it kinda pissed me off probly cause I love the book so much, but I thought this movie was everything it needed to be.

Cheesy.. but the opportunity was there

Take two
Mary Ann

Lala & Kellie

Chris and I.. he is such a good sport

Lala & I

The "Charmed Sisters"

My work firends

Mary Ann, Crisanta, and Brittany

Lala & Kel

Swag bags

Kim & Steve

Loved Steve's Shirt! Kim & Steve share my love of Buffy!

Lala & Kel

Sarah, Lala & I

New moon cupcakes

2009-11-19T02:01:00.002-07:00

The night before New Moon and Amanda and Mindy helped me get all the cupcakes done for the big event. We had some fun along the way..

Amanda

The frosting looks sparkly...
Good luck actually licking that...

Mindy.. turns your tongue and mouth black

Finished product

New moon Swag bags

2009-11-14T01:53:00.002-07:00

So for our New Moon event we made little swag bags. Sarah and I spent the whole day shopping for last minute things and making the name tags, and getting the neckalces ready. It was a long day but well worth it.

Our swag

Necklaces

Bookmark

Movie ticket ( we had to do seating arrangments, no small feat)

Name tags

Random photos of my boys

2009-10-24T01:41:00.003-06:00

Here are just some pictures from the last few months of my boys...

Pugslee snuggling uinder the covers

Dru
Dru

Pugslee fresh from the groomer and getting shaved.. I love that they put bandana's on him

Another naked picture..

Dru looks so stinking cute in this pic

He was snoring ..

so cute

Making New Moon necklaces

2009-10-24T01:32:00.000-06:00

So Sarah and I decided to have a New Moon event. And in one of our many planning meetings we made these adorable wish necklaces. We made hearts on red silk, and stars on balck silk. hen Sarah made these cute little cards to attach them to with New moon saying's from the book.

My coffee table AKA our workshop

holding up a heart necklace.. though you really can't see it very well
Team effort

Sarah

Record player

2009-10-24T01:13:00.003-06:00

So for Christmas, Margie bought me a record player, but she bought it way early and gave it to me way early. When I was little my grandma had all these records, and there was little portable turntable I used to play them on.. I had a bunch of story books on record, but I also had a ton of these cute little Christmas records... it was always my favorite time of year. I would sit and play with these records for hours and pretend that I was a DJ. Well when Grandma died and Margie cleaned out her house she saved all those records for me and the little turntable.. but it was so old the turntable wouldn't play. I was so sad cause I cherished those memories and I thought it would be something cool to pass on to my children someday. Then I saw these record players, that are record players, tape, and CD players. you can record tapes and records onto CD's or use a USB and put them on your computer and it has this software to clean them up. I thought this was awesome and told Margie that is what I wanted for Christmas. But since I wanted to be able to enjoy during the holidays she let me have it early. She was sad cause she didn't get to see me open it, so I took all kinds of spastic overdramatic photos of me opening it so I could make her this cute little fold so she could in essence be there and see me open it.

Cheesy

isn't it cool?

Me holding up my records

The record player

Slowly opening

Park City and fall pictures

2009-09-26T00:35:00.001-06:00

Well we went to Park City so see all the fall leaves and go look around the little shops and the outlet mall. We actually got some really good pictures of us.. wish we had remembered the tri pod so we could have gotten better pictures together..

The drive home at sunset

Fall leaves in the canyon
more fall leaves

Chris looking all studly

Mountain shot

New couch & random pictures

2009-09-13T00:23:00.001-06:00

We finally got a new couch!! Love it! My other couch was about 11 years old and had seen its day. Now Chris and I can both relax.. Chris, Pugslee, Dru and I can all sprawl out and none of us even touch.. Also here are some random pictures of my boys that I have taken.

Dru loves the couch...

Chris and Pugslee spooning... I wouldn't cuddle with Pugs so he went to daddy.
Dru

Another shot.. he's trying to make me jealous

New couch....

Day camping part two...

2009-08-22T23:55:00.005-06:00

We decided to go on another "day camping" trip and invited our other favorite people. It was Derek, Amanda, and Alexus, Kellie, Sarah, Chris and I. It was a way fun day, we roasted dogs and had all kinds of munchies and s'mores and basically just relaxed the whole day. It was much needed, We read ghost stories by the fire again and was grateful for fun family and friends.

This fire was way easier we brought lots of kindling and lighter fluid

Chris & I
Boys being Boys

Kellie Derek and Chris... the boys look like they are up to something

The girls... Amanda & Alexus, Kellie, Sarah and I

Taking pictures of each other

Amanda & Alexus, Kellie and Sarah

Wooded shot

Sarah and I

The perfect S'more.... mmmm

Sarah covered in black soot

Amanda & Alexus

Kellie and Chris roasting perfection

We have a dog down... I repeat a dog down

Kellie

Derek & Amanda

Sarah kept having dog tragedies...

Day camping part one....

2009-08-08T23:20:00.003-06:00

So we got a lot of camping stuff last Christmas, but still didn't have a few necessities for an over night trip, so to save money but have the benefits of camping we decided to go "day camping" It was Chris, Kellie, Sarah and I. Of course I was over prepared as always with the stuff I brought, I have to bring the whole dang house!! LOL

Sarah however, had a rough start to the day and had some drama going on, So she had been preoccupied and pretty much forgot everything. We couldn't get the fire started and needed a few more things, and Kellie was supposed to meet us, but we couldn't call her cause we had no cell reception. So Sarah had to go back down to grab a few things and tell Kellie where we were.

All in all it was actually a really fun day. We made some tin foil dinners and once we finally got the fire going we had a really good meal. My first time making them and I got rave reviws. Then we roasted marshmellows and made s'mores, and read ghost stories around the fire. The last story we were reading before we were gonna head home cause the canyon was closing... right as we got to the scary part the ranger came walking up in the dark and scared the hell out of all of us.. It was kinda funny once we all started breathing again.

One funny moment however was the skunk incident. I had to pee sooo bad and there was restrooms but they were basically built in port o potties... I really don't rough it in the bathroom dept. I was terrified to use it... ( I just knew something was going to grab me or bite me like a snake or spider) there were too many people around in other camp spots to go in the open. Everytime I would get up the courage and try to hover a cold breeze would hit my bits and I was done. LOL. So I went back and forth for a couple hours just miserable cause I had to go so bad... and th last time I was determined to go... So I made Kellie go with me and she had to talk me through it the whole time. Well by this point it was getting dark, and we come walking back from the bathrooms and there is another group right by there and they were looking over at us all wierd looking at what I thought was a little dog... NOPE, it was a skunk and it was running at us... I froze and couldn't speak Kellie was confused for a moment then looked over saw it was a skunk and we both ran off screaming...Everyone at the other camp was laughing so hard. Only... I dropped my cell phone.... so we had to go back with flash lights and look for it.. with a skunk on the loose and we couldn't call it cause none of us had reception. We did however find it luckily and it really was a fun day, that gave Kellie and I a fun story to tell.

the fire that we worked so hard for

Us girls
and again

Sarah & Chris

Kellie all bundled up

Chris trying make a stick to roast with, using the world's dullest knife

A picture of us... Chris had just smacked his head really hard on the lock on the trunk hence the bleeder on his forehead.

The creek by our camp spot

Floating the Weber River

2009-07-25T23:01:00.001-06:00

So we decided to go on a little adventure with Chris's best friends Jessie and Jason Boone. We went and got some tubes to float in and was having all kinds of trouble trying to get them pumped up, it took forever. Then we were finally ready to go, Jessie, his wife Jeanette and thier two little dogs were going to Kayak, Jason and his girlfriend were going to float on tubes with Chris and I. We got down into the water and the water was moving pretty fast so it was hard to get on the tubes and get situated. We started out by a very low bridge, I freaked out we were going so fast and that bridge was so low, I jumped off and went back to shore. Chris had to continue cause everyone else had left and our car was the one parked at the end and he we had the keys. It was hotter than heck out so I hung out underneath a train bridge while they all floated. Chris said the float was nice, but the water was cold and the day was hot. I got burned of course. I sat and took some pictures while I waited for everyone.

We had a trooper take this...

The train bridge I was chilling under
Train bridge

Mountains

The really low bridge I was convinced would kill us all... I did however watch a few people knock themselves out on it... and one dog... felt bad for the dog.. laughed at the people.

Meeting up with Amanda & Sarah's unnatural obsession with Jack and the box

2009-06-22T12:57:00.002-06:00

While in Idaho I was excited to meet up with an old friend that I have known since Mr. McBrides 5th grade class. We went to school together even into college as we both went to ISU.. I of course only stayed for about a year. We lost touch over the years and I wondered often where she was and how she was. I was excited to reconnect with her over facebook of all things, and she met up with me while we were in Pocatello.

Amanda Thomson Orders

her and I posing with Jack

Then there is Sarah's obsession with Jack in the Box, we don't have them in Utah so she had to get a fix while we wer there.

Many pictures to pose with

and again...

Posing together

Enjoying a scrumptious curly fry

The Dog House

2009-06-21T12:49:00.002-06:00

Sue and Roy have this cute little room in thier back yard. Its called the Dog House, and everything in it is dog. Sarah and I had the opportunity to stay there and of course took some pictures.

Life in the Dog House

Room shot
complete with ghirardelli chocolates on the pillows

Desk area

Sue and Roy waving goodbye.

Sue & Sparky's

2009-06-21T12:27:00.001-06:00

Sarah and I went and visited Sue and Sparky this last weekend.We had a blast. We took a ton of pictures while we were there. and I just wanted to thank them for letting us stay and making such wonderful meals. It was so much fun. Here are some of the pictures.

Country shot by thier house

Sparky, Sue & I
Sue and Roy

Roy picking on Sue

Sarah & I..Dead End.. LOL

Me making a face

Thier Dog Zack

Garden shot

the Dead End shot

Roy

Sarah & I

Roy barbequeing

Sue & I

Sarah & Sue

The Mini's cupcakes we brought for them

Double Wedding

2009-06-12T12:10:00.003-06:00

Here are some pictures from My good friends Corey and Wills double wedding. They had a nice reception in thier back yard. Corey is my friend who catered my wedding. I felt very blessed to be part of the close knit group who invited.

1 YEAR

2009-06-07T13:19:00.000-06:00

I have to say that Nikki is the best wife ever! She does alot for me and our marriage. We are extremely happy together. The first year wasnt too hard at all in my opinion. We dated for 3 years before and through those 3 years we experienced problems that prepared us to marry each other.

I LOVE YOU NIKKI!

1 whole year

2009-06-07T11:55:00.003-06:00

So June 7th was our one year anniversary. It doesn't seem like it has been a whole year. They say that the first year is the hardest, though I do not really agree. Situations were hard such as 6 months of Pugslee being sick, but I feel that that just brought Chris and I closer and made us work together more. other than outside things, we rarley fought and had the problems you hear most couples talk about. I feel really lucky to have such a wonderful partner, though neither of us is perfect, we are perfect for each other.

So, for our anniversary we went up to Park City. this is where we spent our honey moon. so we went and walked around the outlet malls, and then went to town to get a Christmas ornament for the Christmas shop. It was closed so we will have to go back another time to get a new ornament. Here are some pictures from the day!

View from the car window

Chris and I in the car
Chris on the streets of Park City

Another shot from the car window

Another shot of usw in the car

Adventures in Babysitting Part Deux

2009-05-22T20:52:00.002-06:00

Another Adventure in Babysitting with Hannah and Isaac. The pool at our apartment opened up earlier this week. The kids came down and we went swimming to start off our adventure. The kids didn't have their floaties so Isaac was practicing kicking his feet on the stairs and splashing everyone - laughing hysterically! Meanwhile, Nikki and I were helping Hannah with her swimming by holding her and floating around the pool. We then got out of the pool and relaxed in the hot tub, which was "hot, too hot" according to Issac. He and Hannah eventually got used to the hot tub and relaxed for a minute.

Next adventure - it never fails, Shrek 1 and Shrek 2. It seems that is the only movie those 2 want to watch when they come over. Derek and I went to Dairy Queen for some ice cream cones for everyone while Amanda and Nikki stayed with the kids. I guess while I was gone, the friendly Gingerbread guy became a monster in Shrek 2 and scared Isaac to death! He grabbed Nikki's hand and they went into our room to watch Sponge Bob. This was the first time Isaac opened up to Nikki! SHE WAS SO HAPPY! Isaac is usually afraid of Nikki. This made Nikki's week!

I came back from Dairy Queen and Isaac would not let Nikki leave anywhere. He sat her down and cuddled next to her (see pics below).

Amanda's baby shower

2009-05-09T21:15:00.004-06:00

Today was Amanda's baby shower. She looked so cute and ready for this baby. She is little biddy and has no where for the baby to go, so these next few weeks are gonna be uncomfortable. She got so many presents today though I think they were going to need a U-haul to get it all home.

Cute Amanda with a big belly

Adriene and Dana with Dana's baby Parker
Amanda opening presents

Mindy and Michelle

Amanda opening my present

Cheesy grin...

Bride Wars movie party

2009-05-02T21:01:00.004-06:00

We have a themed movie night about once a month... and this month was Bride Wars. It was a way cute movie. We did appetizers and did the colors lime green and brown. It was cute and fun.

wedding bubbles!!!

Kellie Kellie blowing bubbles
Sarah and I blowing bubbles

Kellie not wanting her picture taken

Sarah and I Simultaneously taking pictures of each other

Niss posing after she just got out of the shower..

Our spread

The lime green and brown cupcakes I baked and frosted...

Random pictures

2009-04-12T20:50:00.003-06:00

Just some random pictures I took playing with my camera....

I told him he couldn't smile. Neither one of us are photogenic and when he smiles it turns out bad...

finally took some of Dru.. he has been a little left out since Pugs got sick.. Pugs is a picture whore.
another precious pic of Dru

one more of Chris...

I love this pic... he looks so squishy and cuddley cause he is shaved

Sarah and I being Silly

2009-04-11T20:42:00.002-06:00

Sarah and I went and hung out and had Red Mango.. then took some funny pictures..

I am not even sure.. we were just doing random faces and poses...

LOL... again... I don't know but its funny
A normal pose

You're a Tiga... burrow burrow

Extreme close up.... Thanks Sar... I think you were able to show every blemish..

Flowers

2009-04-01T20:20:00.003-06:00

Chris surprised me with flowers today. It was really sweet of him and he did good they are very beautiful. They were to make up for giving me a panic attack the night before when I was driving home from class. He didn't respond to my texts or phone calls in like a 3 hour period. I called both of his phones which were not on silent and he didn't answer. He was ASLEEP. I thought he was dead.. cause the last time I had talked to him was about 20 minutes before the 1st text he didn't respond to. I thought he had gotten into a car wreck or something cause he was driving home when I had last spoken with him. After that incident Margie and I have been calling him Rip Van Broadhead. LOL (after Rip Van Winkle.. he slept for like a 100 years or something to that affect.)

Pugslee got shaved... all the way

2009-03-27T18:34:00.003-06:00

So my Pugslee got his yearly shaving. I have to shave him or he gets really bad fur matts. He doens't willingly let me try and cut them out either and we both usually end up bleeding.. so this is easier. He tends to get really cold though and is an even bigger cuddle monster than normal. He got his shots at the same time and had a really bad reaction to them so he was not feeling very good and me having the camera in his face didn't help.

Cuddled under my throw blanket.. it looks like he is wearing a hoodie..

Love this pic... he is looking at my hand...
You can tell in this pic he doesn't feel very good

They put a little bandana on him.. he looked so stinkin cute.. I wondered if he bit them when they did this...I didn't ask

You can tell in this picture if you have ever seen Pugslee that he has lost a lot of weight from when he was sick... he looks so little...

Twilight Movie Party

2009-03-21T17:12:00.003-06:00

We had a themed movie party for Twilight when it came out on DVD. Kellie and I had stayed up all night Watching Buffy the vampire slayer so we were slightly delirious. It was super fun though.. there was lots of laughing so hard we cried thanks to Patty.

All of us girls

Patty taking the picture
Amera

Killie and I trying to nap

Kellie and Amanda

Nissa with all the goody bags

What is twilight without some forbidden fruit... LOL

Twilight midnight party

2009-03-20T16:46:00.002-06:00

Twilight the movie had midnight release parties all over the valley and there was supposed to be a star from the movie at one of them in the Salt Lake Valley. So we narrowed our choices of where we thought they would show up ans decided to road teip it out to Riverton. That is where the Twilight Mom's were having there booth and we figured well maybe.. So we went and got beans and brew so we could stay up and went. That was actually were they had it for sure... It ended up being the actress Rachel Lefevre who plays Victoria in the movie... we so didn't want to deal with the thousands of screaming teeagers so we left. Sarah went home to sleep and Kellie and I all hopped up on coffee stayed up and had a Buffy the Vampire slayer marathon. I got the box set that has all 7 seasons for my birthday.

Kellie, Sarah and I in the car

Kellie

Sarah

Margie's Birthday in Idaho

2009-03-06T16:41:00.001-07:00

For Margie's Birthday that was March 3, we went to Idaho to celebrate with her and went shopping in Twin Falls. I made her a Garfield cake. I was in kind of a hurry and my decorator had broke.. so it's not the best cake i have ever decorated but it worked.

Margie blowing out her candles

The Garfield cake

Photo Safari

2009-02-28T16:29:00.001-07:00

Sarah and I decided we wanted to get together every so often and go on little photo safari's. We went to the Salt Lake cemetary up where my sister is buried. We could not find were she was on this trip though cause she is piggy back on someone else's plot. but here are some of the pictures I took.

I loved this cause in the break in the trees you could see to the mountains on the other side of the valley.

I thought this was cool cause the sky was so blue and the there were three seperate jet streams going on.

I think this statie is so pretty

This is a little Angel statue for a child. its a pretty but kind of creepy statue

same statue, different angle.

New laptop

2009-02-27T16:25:00.001-07:00

So Chris and I got a new laptop. Pugslee hates it cause he thinks he should be in my lap and not the laptop. And since I had so much homework this last semseter I spent all my time on the computer doing homeowrk.. this is his attempt to be in my lap with the laptop...

Aprils Sushi and Sake party

2009-02-21T15:59:00.003-07:00

April had a sushi and sake party and we had a blast.. lots of laughs and an all around good time.

April, Sarah and I jammed in the doorway.. we were trying to dance with each other and we've gained a little since the last time and instead of being sexy we all got wedged.. and then we were all laughing so hard we couldn't unwedge, and Chris was laughing and taking pictures. LOL

Note to self: never give Josh the camera.. this was the cleanest of all the pictures he took. lets just say I had like 100 random photos.. and it was a full moon four times... LOL
Chris and Jake talking about guy stuff...

All hanging out in April's spare room.

Niss, April and Sarah.. showing me what they've got..

A grown up "Little" James and April

Jake had just been cutting sushi... he made all this amazing yummy homemade sushi that night.. all though right here he looks like a serial killer LOL

Jake cutting Sushi

Sarah and I laughing

My little Baboon

2009-02-17T22:23:00.003-07:00

So my Pugslee has been a sick little cat for a while now. In October I noticed that he kept getting in and out of the cats box a lot like he couldn't go. I thought that it was a hair ball, because he had something similar a few years back and got all backed up. I was thinking he just couldn't go and was giving him hairball medicine. Well after about a month I realized that he was losing weight so I took him in to the vet and it wasn't a hairball at all.

The vet said he had an abscessed tooth, and a bladder infection. The infection from his mouth had spread into his urinary tract when he would wash himself. So he had surgery to remove one of his front fangs (I cried I love his front fangs he looks like a saber tooth tiger) and they cleaned his teeth and sent him home with antibiotics. Then his mouth heals nicely, but he just can't kick the bladder infection. He took amoxacillon for two weeks and then they had him take it for a couple more weeks cause there was still blood and cells in his urine.

Then after maybe a month i was still not clearing up, so they put him on a more broad antibiotic. This one was a pill, lets just talk about how fun that was. I felt like such a hypocrite, I can't swallow pills and I am having to shove pills down his throat. He was not making it easy on me either.. he hated me the first couple weeks... I think he has finally stopped holding a grudge cause he has been on continuous meds for like 4 months.

So the broad antibiotics don't work, he is still sick so they take him off meds for a week and do a culture to find out what is growing and what meds will kill it. They get the results back.. This poor fricken cat.. he has E-coli and a MRSA staff infection. Neither of which respond at all to medication. They had to do a pill cocktail in order to kill it. So he took that for about 4 weeks, but he still kept getting in the cats box like he had to go all the time. So I take him back in to check on his infection and that FINALLY cleared up but there was still a lot of blood in his urine. So they tell me they have to do this x-ray that involves dye, so they have to put him under to do it. He said usually it's one of three things... stones being one of them and after everything that has happened in the last few weeks I forgot the other two. Anyways, they go in and find that he has stones.. but also that there is a thick lining on the wall of his bladder and that his bladder doesn't expand past the size of a golf ball and it should get almost softball sized. On top of that when they injected the dye it backed up into his Kidneys which is NOT good at all.

So of course I am having a panic attack. They tell me that he needs to have a major surgery to get the stones out and look and see what is going on with the lining of his bladder and his kidney's. So they go in and do the surgery and remove the stones and find that he has a tumor growing on his bladder, its benign and doesn't spread but does frequently come back in the same spot. They also found nothing wrong with his kidney's, but the cord that connects them was twisted weird. He has to stay at the vets for almost 3 days... I missed him so much while he was gone. I was hoping I would get to cuddle with him again. He finally came home with a pharmacy I might add. He has to be on a special low mineral diet and take a daily supplement that is a anti-inflammatory. Plus for the next couple weeks he has to take pain meds, antibiotics, and this other med that helps him heal. UGH! This poor little guy is sure a fighter. He came home with a incision about 3 inches long and stitches, which they say he can't lick or pull... YEA RIGHT... he's a cat... first thing after he got out of the carrier... he finds the stitches.. we were just getting ready to go to the lakers game and I didn't know if I should leave him I was afraid he'd pull his stitches while we were gone.. so Chris is like "I'll cut up a shirt and just put a sleeve over him he'll leave it alone" (right). I told him he'll take it off, he is not gonna wear it, Chris is like there is no way he is going to get it off. So we come home from the game and its on the floor by the door and he is sitting on the couch glaring at us with his ears laid back... I got a good "told ya so" in.

He has to go in every two days and get this treatment where they put anti-inflammatory and other things in his bladder to flush it out and they said he'll smell like garlic afterwards... but honestly he smells like olives.. Its just wrong. I hate when he goes cause then he doesn't smell like himself he smells all wrong. So that is what I have been going through for the last few months. I am hoping he is almost done being sick. He is however healing very nicely though, other than being whiny you really can't tell that he has been through all that. Here are some pics of him. He had to have his Butt shaved cause since he was in the cats box all the time it was impossible to keep him clean and he smelled like urine. So the shaving helped me clean him easier. That is why I call him my Little Baboon.

with his Butt shaved...

from behind....

his pathetic I don't feel good look.. seen a lot of that lately...so sad

The "Sleeve" need I say more?

Valentines day!

2009-02-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

On Valentines day Chris and I decided to keep it simple, and not spend a lot of money. We weren't supposed to get each other gifts...he didn't stick to that... and he got me 2 really pretty necklaces. I stuck to our deal of just making a nice romantic dinner and my surprise desert. So I made a heart shaped fruit pizza just for Chris, because he loves berries and I dispise them, I made it full of berries. Here is a picture.

Jazz Vs Lakers

2009-02-12T21:52:00.001-07:00

So Margie gave Chris Lakers/Jazz tickets for Christmas, and the Game was on Wednesday. We had a blast. I have become a fan of the Jazz, and I am a total Deron Williams fan. But I love the Lakers too. Phil Jackson is my favorite coach, I love him from back in the days when the Chicago Bulls ruled the world. Chris is a Lakers fan and loves Kobe Bryant and thinks he is a awesome player. (BOO!) I don't like him but I do really like Derek Fisher. I wasn't even sure who I was rooting for going into the game so I was clapping and cheering for both teams. I was getting some dirty looks, I was afterall wearing a Lakers shirt. But in the end I was just totally going for Utah, they were kicking ass and taking names. LOL Deron was making some awesome shots and had the crowd screaming MVP at the end. The end was a tense time, they kept tying it up, and everyone was screaming and yelling so loud that my ears were ringing the next day. But Utah won 112 to 109. It was a great game... here are some pics

Kobe warming up

starting line up

Phil giving a great talk no doubt

Phil again... love this man

Derek Fisher

good action shot

my man Deron with the ball... wahoo

Kobe shooting a foul shot

Kobe doing a jump shot

The Annual Super Bowl Party

2009-02-01T21:32:00.002-07:00

So I had my annual super bowl party again this year. Had a pretty good turn out. Kellie came and helped me get everything done and then we chit chatted and waited for everyone to get here. Usually I do a grease fest with all homemade fried food, like chicken strips, finger steaks, onion rings and cheesesticks. Its good ONCE a year. But this year I decided I didn't want to stand on my feet for 4 hours frying only to find out that everyone ate everything and I am hungry and now too tired to make food. So we made homemade pizza instead. lots easier and cleaner. I made a football shaped cake for the festivities, and Corey brought a shrimp dip that everyone was crazy about. Chris missed most of the party but came in at the end. People that came include Jonny, Corey, Will, Sarah, Yolanda, Jayda, Kellie and Sam came over at the end as well. Jayda was excited she was the only steelers fan... tough crowd. LOL

Football cake

Kellie wanted me to pose with it and I almost dropped it in the floor. I would have cried!

Kellie getting ready to fry the sausage for the pizza

Our spread before other contributers arrived

Corey showing me "See" food. LOL

Will with his henekin

Yolanda...

Group photo everyone say "FOOTBALL"..

My 10 year old Kitten...

2009-01-15T22:30:00.001-07:00

So we were laying on the couch watching TV and I took my pony tail holder out, well suddenly Pugslee was a kitten again he was following it and biting at it I was laughing so hard... so I had to take pictures.. he looked fricken adorable.

Watching me taunt him with it

He looks like he is covering his mouth... so funny

Trying to rip it from my hands

Biting at it

Priceless alert look

He is so stinking cute...

A Little Down time

2009-01-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

so taking a little break from school, homework, work and life in general we were playing around with the camera. We got some super funny pictures, we were doing them in the theme of a photobooth where you make funny faces. I left some of the most hilarious ones out becuase Chris would shoot me if I posted them but here are some others.

All my favorite boys in one spot..

Cheesey!

Chris has this Dance he does to the Dido song from Rosewell.... it always makes me laugh until I cry. He is such a spaz!

funny face!

Dru looks like a voyer in this pic...

Heritage Makers, Twilight & babysitting

2009-01-10T21:03:00.000-07:00

So Today I had a Heritage Makers workshop. My cousin Sarah is a consultant and has me hooked on making neat stuff. So I made homemade Chile today and had my girls over. Kellie, Sarah and I continued to try and scan my managerie of pictures. (we soo didn't finish) And on a whim we all decided hey lets go see twilight again. We had all gone and seen it opening day at our twilight event. Chris and I had seen it 2 times since so this was my fourth time seeing it. while I was at the movies Jonny had stopped by and he and Chris were gonna babysit Hannah and Isaac. They were all so cute playing together. Hannah cracks me up, you just never know what will come out of her mouth. here are some pictures of them all playing...

Chris holding Hannah down and Isaac tickeling her

Isaac & Uncle Jonny

Chris & Hannah watching "A Garfield Christmas"

Chris lifting Isaac & Hannah

Isaac wanting to be lifted again

The long drive home

2009-01-02T20:30:00.001-07:00

So the Drive between Burley and salt Lake is a pretty boring one. So to pass the time and keep myself from being carsick I decided to take pictures. The sky and mountains were so beautiful that day.. there was as a storm that was rolling in so I got some really pretty pictures of the clouds and the mountains...I am not that great of a photographer, but I thought the view was too beautiful to pass up

so this one was taken from the windshield and it was partially through that tinted strip along the top. I thought it looked cool.

New Years in Idaho

2009-01-01T20:13:00.004-07:00

So since we didn't get to go to Idaho on Christmas, we went for New Years. So we made New Years eve our Christmas. It was a way fun get away. We made it in time to run to Old AC Drive in for dinner then we opened gifts. The next day we hung out did some shopping and made a big old meal, with steaks and baked potatoe and it was soo much food. Here are some pictures.

Margie Opening her Calendar I made her

Leeo wore out from being in everything and being screamed at all night to leave stuff alone.

Chris giving me that sideways look he loves to give

Xoee she finally decided to be my friend this is the first time she has came out for me

Margie and I (but mostly Margie) got Chris Lakers Vs Jazz tickets for February. He was way surprised!

Margie just opened the clock I made for her with black and white pics of her and my mom when they were little...

A late Christmas dinner with Cecil & Judy

2008-12-30T23:00:00.002-07:00

The week after Christmas, right before New Year's we went down to Provo and had a family Dinner with Cecil & Judy. We had yummy food and lots of laughs. I made Judy a calendar as well with her children and Grandchildren. She got quite choked up. Here are a few pictures of her opening them. Chris was taking the pictures. He's not real great with focusing. LOL

Cecil and Judy looking at it

Judy getting choked up

them still looking.

Chris and I at home Christmas Eve

2008-12-25T16:53:00.000-07:00

So after all our family parties we came home to open our presents to each other. We did it Christmas Eve, because the plan was to go to Idaho to Margie's the next morning. That actually didn't happen however as the roads were so horrible and we were hit with storm after storm as well as Idaho, and the roads were closed. Anyways, I had given Chris camping stuff, so this year we can go, cause he is excited to start camping and fishing, and luckily he loved it. He spoiled me this year. first when we went to Myn and Lee's, they had given me an itunes card, and I was thinking um ok. Chris has an iphone, I wanted and ipod, but did not have one. Then we were at his sisters her and I drew each other and she had given me a car charger for a ipod. And then I was thinking I better be getting an ipod, other wise he is using me to get gifts for his iphone. LOL. But, when we got home, and he saved it until last he had gotten me an ipod touch. SOOO COOL!! But he so got even with me for a couple years ago. A couple years ago for Christmas I got his Lakers Vs Jazz tickets, and I wrapped them in a small box and then put that box in a little bigger box and kept that up until it was in this waist high huge box. he was so pissed when box after box was only another box, he was getting madder and madder until he hit the tickets and then he just stood there staring at them. So with my ipod he wrapped it in a paper box and then wrapped it a hundred times in tissue paper... I was annoyed... mostly that he wasted so much of my tissue paper... but I loved it. Here are some of our pics.

Me after unwrapping my ipod
Chris unwrapping the air mattress for our camping gear.

Me posing with a package

Chris impatiently tearing into his present. (yea we were watching a Christmas Story..LOL)

Chris's Family Christmas Eve

2008-12-25T16:36:00.000-07:00

So after the Annual Pizza and mushroom fest, We went to Anne and Darrin's. Anne made some way yummy soups and a very good dessert. We opened presents with Sam, we all chipped in and got him a coolpix camera. Then I also made him a calendar which has his grandchildren and children on it. I was excited that he loved it so much. It was good to spend time with Matt who was also there, with his schedule it isn't often that we see him. Here are some pics from the night.

Hannah and her Mariposa Barbie we bought her

Darrin, Hannah & Isaac fighting over toys...
Deer in the headlight....

Anne, Matt, Sam, Hannah & Isaac looking at the calendar

Sam opening his calendar

Anne Helping Isaac open his present.

My family Christmas Eve

2008-12-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

Chris and I had a busy night on Christmas Eve this last year. First we went to my families for the annual homemade pizza and stuffed mushrooms.... mmmm... so yummy. Here are some of the pics we got from that party.

uncle Ezzy Wezzy...
Uncle Lee...

Aunt Mynnie... she hids the horns well with the Angelic smile..

Sar being Sassy

and the Spaz spiral continues.... LOL

Activities committee decorations

2008-12-09T09:13:00.010-07:00

Chris and I are on the Activities committee for our ward. We were assigned the decorations for the ward Christmas party which is on Friday. We went through many stores to get ideas and finally settled on this idea. we bought all the pieces and then spent most of the day on Saturday putting them together.

before we put them together

the finished product with the lights
Pugslee exhausted from "helping" also known me screaming NO five hundred times as he tried to eat what we were putting together

stacking them in boxes

another finished one without the lights

Chris smiling while helping me put these together

Wonderful... eh!

2008-12-08T10:49:00.004-07:00

So I have a final tonight in DRAPER... and I turn around and look out my window.... and it's fricken blizzarding... NICE. it's only 10:30 by the time 5 rolls around I may not even be able to get there... ugh. not to mention the fact that the last time I tried to drive off the hill in a blizzard I went down victory road SIDEWAYS. Hopefullly it calms down...I have to take Pugslee to the vet at 3, so hopefully by then I can get off the hill, and hopefully by five I can get to Draper.

The view or lack there of (now) out my window

picture from the opposite side of the building
Looking down from my window....

Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

For Thanksgiving, we went up to Idaho. Margie cooked a big Turkey and we had sooo much food. Chris and I brought Sam with us, it was a lot of fun. Margie and I cooked and Chris and Sam watched TV and talked. Chris did offer a lot to help out though, he was very sweet. We just goofed around and cooked and then had a great meal... the day went so fast though.. it always seems like it goes by so fast. by 8 that night we were all beat from cooking and eating and driving... so we went and checked into the hotel. Here are pictures from our great day.

Gerald and I... what can I say... he loves me

Sam, Chris & I
Chris & I

Margie, Sam & Chris

MMMM!! my favorite! Pistachio salad that Margie makes....

Margie & I

Chris & Sam

Margie and the Turkey... this made me laugh so hard.....

Jazz VS Memphis

2008-11-26T23:30:00.008-07:00

So Chris and I went to the Jazz Vs Memphis game. It was a lot of fun. We have not had a date night out in a really long time. So it was nice to be able to get out and have some fun. We went to Crown Burger afterwards too. We were supposed to go home and finish getting stuff ready to go to Idaho.... but after all the excitement from the game and then the yummy greasy food... we passed out. Here are pictures from the game.

Chris is proud of this picture, he got it as the firework went off..

Here is my favorite part of the Jazz .. Deron Williams
Fighting over the ball

Nice action shot....

My man Deron again... believe me there were a lot of him... didn't want to seem like a stalker though... LOL

This is what Chris drooled over during the game... I had Deron... he had the jazz girls...

Jazz mopped the floor with them.. wahoo... GO JAZZ.

Thanksgiving & Tree decorating.....

2008-11-23T20:54:00.006-07:00

On Saturday, Chris and I went and had Thanksgiving dinner with his mom, brothers and sisters, and Cecil and his family. It was way fun. Good food and then everyone was watching the BYU and Utah game. UTAH WON!!. While Chris was watching the game, I did a puzzle with cecil's daughters and Anne. Then after that Chris and I were going to decorate the house and our tree. He told me I had to wait until after Thanksgiving, but, he never specified which one. hee hee. So we came home and decorated, and then had ice cream and watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, or at least we tried. It had been such a long day, that 10 minutes into it we were both sound asleep. Here are some pictures.

Putting the tree together

Chris
Me

Puckering up...

The finished tree

The 2008 ornament we got on our honeymoon

My little candle holders all decorated.... I love how they look

Twilight.....

2008-11-22T10:30:00.002-07:00

So The movie for twilight finally came out this weekend. I had been waiting since May when I finally became a "Twi-hard". I LOVED, LOVED , LOVED it!!! The book is certainly better, but they did a good job with the movie. they stuck to the book, you just don't get to see everything obviously, there is not enough time for that. We had a huge group that went. Sarah & her aunt and cousins, Carla, Kellie, April, Amanda, Chris's sister Anne and some of her work friends & of course, Chris. He was one of only a few men who went and he is the best husband in the world for letting me drag him. Also I made him come with me and see it again on Sunday. I loved it even more the second time.

The girls at the pre show festivities

Kellie & Lala
The best husband in the whole world

the girls while we were waiting in line to get into the theatre

Lala making a face at the nasty smell in the theatre

Lala & I

Amanda just getting there... we had an extra ticket at the last minute

I had so much fun at this movie. Chris took some pictures of Anne and her friends as well, but he didn't focus them so I couldn't use them.

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas

2008-11-05T19:39:00.003-07:00

Today was a blizzard. This is what my work looked like when it was done. I cannot belive it went straight from a blizzard to sunshine. I guess that's Utah for you.

New Do...

2008-11-01T19:00:00.000-06:00

I got a new hair cut on Saturday. My head is tilted here so you can't see how short completly. It is just below my shoulders... I really like it but keep freaking out when I run my hand through my hair cause its just gone.

P.S. the date stamp is wrong for some reason... LOL, It's Kellie's camera.

Happy Halloween!!!!

2008-10-31T07:00:00.000-06:00

Carving Pumpkins and baking pumpkin seeds

2008-10-30T22:30:00.000-06:00

Tonight we had a very Good dinner. Chris made his now famous Reuben sandwhich. Sam came over and had dinner with us, and then Derek and Andy came and had a sandwhich too. We did our annual pumpkin carving. It was really fun, but kind of exhausting since both of us were half asleep when we started. We also saved the seeds and baked them. They tasted pretty good. I have never had them before.. Chris looked at the instuctions and got them all ready. He did a good job.Here are some pictures from the evening.

My Jack-O-Lantern....

mine was kinda falling apart cuase everything was cut to close

Pugslee irritated that the focus is not on him...

he looked so pissy i couldn't resist the picture

Our baked seeds.. mmmm

Chris's Jack-O-Lantern ...
His of course turned out perfect

Chris sleepily cleaning pumpkin seeds

Our "raw" seeds

Me cleaning the seeds out of my pumpkin

Mom & Cecil's Open House

2008-10-25T22:49:00.004-06:00

My mom got married a couple of weeks ago to Cecil Clark. They will reside in Provo.

Anne, Me, Jonny & Matt

Me, Jonny & Matt looking sharp
Group Photo

Mom & Cecil

Mom, Cecil & some old friends

twilight

2008-10-09T08:38:00.000-06:00

Holiday Decorating

2008-10-03T11:13:00.003-06:00

So I love the Holidays! What I love the most is decorating and baking. Chris and I had an interesting fight about how soon was too soon to decorate. I WON! He finally gave in cause decorating makes me feel so happy. So I decorated in September, the end of September though. Then I have been baking Halloween themed cookies and cupcakes and such. I can't help it. The holidays make me think of when I was little and my Grandma would go all out. Grandpa on the other hand was a bah humbug. There was to be nothing Christmas in his house be it music decorations or talk of it until after Thanksgiving. I hope Chris understands that I start listening to Christmas music the day after Halloween, 100.3 FM and 106.5 FM, start the holiday music. My favorite time of the year. I will however try not to decorate until at least the end of November around Thanksgiving. But I get way too excited so we'll see. Sorry Chris.

The chocolate cut out cookies I made

80's Party

2008-09-22T10:58:00.000-06:00

Our freind Adriane had a 80's themed birthday party. It was a blast to try to find clothes and get dressed up. Here are the pictures of said event. P.S. Chris went as a coach from the 80's ALL of us saw alot more of Chris that night than we really needed to. LOL

Chris & Derek

Derek & Amanda
Amanda& I
Alex and his mohawk
The guys & Echo
Me, Not sure what Derek is doing....
Happy Birthday Adriane
The girls
Chris, Derek & Amanda

Girl time....

2008-08-29T15:21:00.005-06:00

So to start the four day weekend, Kellie had a great idea to have a little fun in the sun girls day to say goodbye to summer. So this morning we all met up at my place, went to Starbucks, then to my pool. We sat around and BS'd and drank our coffee and read magazines. It was really fun and a really good needed decompression. after we were done baking in the sun we decided to do lunch. I was gonna cook but the city is doing construction and our water was off. So we decided to go to Pei Wei. It was super yummy, I got the lettuce wraps. Then Carla had to pick Meg up from school so Kellie and I curled up on my bed, ate ice cream and watched Dane Cook. It was a fun farewell to summer!

Lala enjoying her coffee

Lala, Kellie & I trying to gt us all in the picture
funny faces everyone! Lala looks like she is trying to be "a tiga" LOL
Lala
Lala & I reading our magazines
Kel reading hers
Thanks Ladies! I enjoyed spending some needed downtime with you!

A night babysitting

2008-08-24T20:14:00.003-06:00

Last night Nikki and I had the honor of watching Hannah and Isaac for a few hours. The activities included McDonald's Happy Meals, swimming at our pool which turned into "bumper floaties" between Hannah and Isaac then followed up with Shrek and brownies and ice cream. Shrek is one of Hannah's favorites because she loves Princess Fiona. Isaac on the other hand screamed when he saw the dragon because he was scared of the fire that dragons spit when they are "bad guys"..then he would scream because the dragon turned out to be a "good guy" and Isaac was fascinated that the dragon could fly.

Hannah with a "REALLY BIG SMILE"

Isaac...deer in the headlights look

Another big smile from Hannah

Isaac sharing his french fries with Uncle Chris

If you don't talk to your cats about catnip... Who will?

2008-08-21T23:14:00.006-06:00

So my aunt Sue sent fresh catnip home from her garden for my boys. They LOVE catnip!! Unfortunately things tend to get out of hand... Dru gets mean tries to climb me looking for more, basically he's a mean drunk. Ha ha. When we first brought it home from Idaho, Chris left it in the floor... I mean honestly Dru once chewed through a plastic container to get to his catnip addiction, a zip lock will not keep him out. I went over to Mindy's to get our key and Chris was on the computer completely oblivious. I come home and there is a chewed up plastic bag, green plant everywhere and two very high, very paranoid, drooling cats. It was a sight to behold... Unfortunately, I did not have my camera available to capture that moment on film. However I gave them a dose tonight and man did they go crazy again...

They're eating it...

Dru's taking out his aggression on a helpless mousey
He is not happy I have a camera in his face
Pugslee is so high he looks Chinese

Maybe he should have been a Siamese cat...

Happy birthday Mom!!

2008-08-19T08:00:00.005-06:00

I miss you!